NPoW Season 9 Supplemental: Rookies #1
Hey there REL 10A-10E, some of you may be new to all this publicity but I’m here to get the word out about our oft ignored Rookie teams. Some of you have been playing in ReBBL for a while now and some are coming in fresh faced and unbroken by REL. But that ends today, because now all the NPoW readers will know just how soon it will be until you hit the REL as veterans of the bash wars. Is your body ready?
So, a few guidelines before I start off. No, I can not cover every single team in REL 10a-e in one go. I have a wife and she is Italian, so you know, she has family… and they have concrete. I’ll be picking the first 3 teams as they are listed on the Teams tab in BB2 so, eventually, I should get to everyone. Well, let's get on with it then!
-Honest ta Gob (Goblins Tv980) Coach Ass Sucker
Here is something just a little bit special, an honest Gobbo team. My best to Coach Ass Sucker… Yeah, thats his name in BB2. Anyways, the Honest Gobbos of Honest ta Gob are looking mighty fine for just 6 games of play. Right off, Troll Earfart (Block, Guard) pops out and makes every other Troll super jealous. Block as a first skill? Who’s ass you sucking, Ass Sucker? TELL ME YOUR SECRET! His next best players are Fanatic Skarkit (Mighty Blow, Grab) and Looney Skarfur (Dodge). Honest SPP for less than honest games. The Gobs are sitting at a decent 0-2-1 season which isn’t super unexpected from a Gobbo team. My best to you, Ass Sucker. That sounds like an insult. But it isn’t. Because that it literally his BB2 name. Seriously.
-Common Nightmares (Necromantic Tv 1480) Coach Hairy Coo
Here we go, Necro, can’t say Im all that surprised when Necro is one of the better starting teams to play. Coach Hairy Coo is really taking this season by storm with a nice 1-3-0 record and some decent development to boot. Over half his team has been skilled including two Dirty Player Zombies and a Block Zombie. But who cares about Zombies! It’s the Wolves, and Wights, and Golems (Oh my!) that we want to see. The bread and butter of a winning Necro team. Well, Common Nightmares doesn’t disappoint. Wolves Being Chased (Block) and Being Attacked (Block) are both coming along nicely and will only get better (Hate My Hair had to start as a pup too, way back in the day). Mr. Coo has also been keeping his Golem Tax paid with a perm already taken to Golem Drowning (Block, -Ma). And some decent levels on Wight Being Stuck (Mighty Blow, Dodge). I expect this team to continue doing well as long as it keeps those power players alive.
-Horn Stars MMXVIII (Chaos Tv 1170) Coach Mynimol
Ah, yes. The fresh Chaos team. I can smell the 1 in 9 potential now (Just like All Apple Pies would have wanted). And there are some decent if interesting skills being picked up. 3 of the 4 Chaos Warriors have leveled but all 3 have opted to go for pure damage with Mighty Blow right off the bat. Beastman Buster Good (Block, Mighty Blow) is also following suit and Jack Mehoff (Block) looks to be getting in on the action too. Coach Mynimol also has been touched by a Nuffle getting two stats right off the bat with Beastman Will Pounder (+St) and Rocky Balboner (+Ag) making for good early players. I would suggest that he look to widen the level picks as he gets more players into the endzone for some TD SPP. This all damage Chaos team isn’t panning out all that well with a 0-1-2 record, but if the dice are hot, I’m sure he will pick something up.
-California Love (Human Tv 1260) Coach Nocternal
I’ll just come out and say it guys, Coach Nocternal is by far the most talented and handsome coach currently playing, not only in REL, but the world. Also, he is writing this article. It’s important to have a healthy self image. CA-Love came off the Greenhorn ready to get games won but it hasn’t really panned out. Catcher San D (+Ag, -Mv) has been a real power player, at least until he got injured in his first game in 10B. Other than that and an Ogre death, the rest of the team have been doing nicely, especially the Blitzers. Blitzers Anaheim (Mighty Blow, Pile On), Inglewood (Guard) and Compton (Dodge) have been working overtime to try and get this team a win but a lack of tackle against Two very good Amazon coaches gained me nothing but a healthy respect for the Dodge and Blodge ladies. Sitting at 0-2-1 CA-Love will need to pick up the pace if they want to get to the Playoffs before next season.
-Reality Kings (Kislev Tv 1410) Coach SuperfedTv
Well, this is something you don’t see everyday. Coach Superfed is a veteran of the REL experience and he choose to take something of a new approach to an off-season. Kislev is one of those teams that really need the dice to go their way to win games and it’s looking like Superfed is learning that lesson the hard way. These bouncy boys are holding a 0-1-3 record and not for a lack of trying. Some players to note are Catcher Team Squirt (Dodge, +Ma) and a brave level on Blitzer Captain Stabbin (Mighty Blow). While the team is looking good, he doesn’t have the skills just yet to make it great. But a few good games can make all the difference here.
-Ye Olde Guard (Nurgle Tv 1430) Coach Yayo
Dear Readers, if you ever wanted to see what a baby Nurgle team looks like when they take the right skills, Olde Guard is what you should be looking at. Coach Yayo must have been watching the three time Nurgle Gurgle from Season 8 Playoffs because this team have the potential to take an early spot in the playoffs, that is as long as Nuffle keeps giving him the Regen dice. Currently at 1-2-0 this season, Yayo is in the front of the pack early on. Important players are Pestigor Lifestolen (Block, Sure Hands) and Nurgle Warrior Lord Doggo (Block, Guard) who proves that mass Mighty Blow might be fun, but it doesn’t win you much since the other 3 Warriors are still sitting at 12 and 13 SPP. I’ll be watching Yayo closely, mostly because I have to play him in Week 5.
-Squeeky Blinders (Skaven Tv 1240) Coach Randomaxomus
Another veteran REL coach, Randommaxomus has built a fairly standard Rat team. First up, the fists of the Ratmen, Storm Vermin Thomas Colby (Mighty Blow) and Arthur Colby II (Mighty Blow) are your generic, bog standard Vermin. The Gutter Runners have also taken some safe picks with Michael Grey (Block, Side Step) and Finn Colby (Two Heads) also being pretty standard for a successful Rat team. The one thing that does stand out is the number of players that the Blinders have lost. Five dead or retired players in eight games is a stiff price to pay in gold and SPP lost. I’m sure that this team will be the bane of the slower bash teams that will be fishing for casualties to even the playing field. Currently sitting at 2-1-1 for the season, they have a good chance of getting into the top spots of 10C.
-Rats against Teen Stars (Skaven Tv 1300) Coach Razzle Storm
Back to back rats in REL 10C, the RaTS are also pretty standard but got a little luckier with holding onto players and skills. The first thing that differentiates RaTS from the Blinders is Storm Vermin Hairy Styles (Claw) who is looking to put the hurt on those Av8+ teams that are certain to come around. The Gutter Runner squad is also more defensive with their skill picks. Runners Millie Probably Down (Block) and Caleb McFallin (Block) are a sure shot to get some skills to help with the offence but Gaten Mataratzzo (Wrestle, Strip Ball) and Pwytk (Block, Tackle) will be focusing on stopping the oppositions drive and getting those defensive touchdowns. RaTS are currently sitting at 2-2-0 and will be a shoe in for the tops spots.
-A Few Ornery Onanists (Pro Elfs Tv 1270) Coach Pimple Jams
And now for something a little different, Pro Elfs are the masters of the pass game and Thrower Tarquin Tosser (Accurate) has been doing just that with seven passes for 200 yards. That basically covers most things about this team that you can expect to find other then the few doubles rolls on Catcher Oscar Snakecharmer (Guard) and Lineman Sterling Stains (Guard) who will help with the much needed bash potential of the Blitzers who have very little development. This team still have a bit to go before they are a power two-turn team but they are well on their way to making offencive drives next to a surefire score. Currently, AFOO is holding a 1-1-1 record and they can easily improve on past performances.
-Adventuring Elites (Undead Tv 1160) Coach Kingofthecosmos
It’s starting to seem like the Veteran coaches have been spread out pretty evenly for all the Rookie divisions with Kingofthecosmos in 10D. There really isn’t much to say about the Elites because Undead teams are very good in a TV1000 division. Mummy King Graham (Guard) and Wight Max the Rabbit (Mighty Blow) are your basic starting levels for the bash potential to get out there and force some casualties. The Ghouls, also, have been fitting into their preferred roles also with Larry Laffer (Block) and Indiana Jones (Wrestle) helping with scoring and forcing ball turnovers. A bit of SPP and doubles or stat levels will make this team a nightmare for other Av8 bash teams. Unless they run into Necro or Kill Chaos that will be more than happy to help curb Cosmos’s bashy ambitions. With a record of 1-3-0 the Elites have been having some trouble getting the ball into the endzone. Unless they can pick up some more skills, they won’t be farther ahead then the middle of the pack.
-Chorf Chorf Chorf (Chaos Dwarfs Tv 1100) Coach WaitHCholdMyBeer
Chorfs, why did it have to be Chorfs? And low Tv Chorfs at that. These angry little people are looking a bit low on the SPP totem pole with only three levels on the entire team. That is surprising considering that Chorfs tend to level pretty quickly, unless they run into a smattering of high AV teams at the start of the season. After hitting some easy Av7 or Dodge heavy Elf teams, expect the SPP to rain down upon their little heads. So far there isn’t much to say other than good luck and godspeed to WaitHoldMyBeer as he takes on the rest of the season. Currently at 0-2-2 these guys shouldn’t look at the Rookie divisions other then as a training and development season so they can get their legs (and fists) ready for moving to a standard division.
-Cupcake Crushers (Halflings Tv 670) Coach GreyDragoon
Here we have it folks, a stunty team. Halflings, are maybe the hardest of the stunty teams to play with their lack of many strength players and secret weapons. The one thing that will keep these tiny terrors alive, Master Chefs and Inducements. Currently the real players on this team are the Treemen RootBeer MeanLimbs (Block, Guard) and BirchBark MadTwig (Guard, Break Tackle) are racking up the SPP with 6 and 9 casualties, respectively. Even the shorties are getting in on the SPP action with Halflings Sugar Daddy (+Ag) and Mike (Side Step). Standings wise, this team of Pastry pulverizers is at 0-0-3 which isn’t unexpected. They may not be winning games just yet but soon, they will be rolling in that sweet, sweet inducement fortunes.
-Unknown Strain (Nurgle Tv 1170) Coach Baxerk
This is a pretty fresh Nurgle team so there isn’t much to talk about. With only three players that currently has a level, Beast of Nurgle The Great Ganja (Guard), Prestigor Girl Scout Cookies (Black), and Rotter Lemon Kush (Dirty Player) (all pretty standard first level picks) the only compliment that I can think of is Coach Baxerk has done a great job of spreading the SPP love around. He does have several players that are right on the cusp of making that all important first level and you can expect to see his TV jump in the next few games as long as US can get those players a cas or vanity pass to secure the SPP. Other than being super hungry around 4:25 pm these (high) guys will be coming into their own very soon. Currently at 3-0-1 Unknown Strain will be heading for the Playoffs unless some of the other 10E teams can make some headway against them.
-Castle Anthrax (Amazon Tv 1020) Coach Grrzoot
Oh, behave! These naughty nuns deserve more then some light punishment when Sir Galahad finally gets there. The ladies of Castle Anthrax have been putting the hurt on 10E with a full frontal (heh) assault. At 3-0-0 veteran REL coach Grrzoot has been showing why Amazon teams are so amazing in the early game. The Blitzers are doing all the heavy lifting for this team and they have been reaping all the rewards as will with Blitzers Bad Bad Zoot (Guard) and Naughty Zoot (Mighty Blow) hoarding the SPP from the rest of the team. If they can manage to spread some of the loving around, this team will also be making it straight to the top.
-Pure-Bred Patricians (High Elfs Tv 1150) Coach Reverend Radio
Here we have a pretty low SPP earning High Elf team with Pure-Bred Patricians. So far there isn’t much to say with this team other than they have a decent spread of SPP going to nearly all players. THis is good and bad because while everyone will eventually get that all important first level, not all first level skills are made equal. You really want to get positionals like Blitzers and Catchers started early with touchdowns before you get Linemen skills. But sometimes you get lucky and roll +Ag as a first skill like Lineman Senor Gonzales. I expect Senor Gonzales to start hoarding all the important catches and touchdowns because he can make all the dodges in the world much easier. I don’t think that’s the way you want to take this particular player because he would be much more useful as a sacker or, if he gets a doubles on his next level, a mobile Guard player to help get a much needed two dice blitz on the ball carrier. Other than that, nothing super interesting to talk about here. The Patricians have been doing well so far this season with a 2-0-1 record. Hopefully they can keep up the run.
This brings the first (of 4) Rookie editions of NPoW to a close. Parting is such sweet sorrow as they say but fear not my dear readers, I shall return as we continue our coverage of REL Season 9. Since some of the Rookie Divisions have only 10 players, the last issue of Season 9 Rookie coverage will look at the teams that are leading the pack before the seeding for Playoffs starts, hopefully.