"It may not look like much but it's all I have, and I take care of it." The owner embraces his business with a fond look while talking to you. "Didn't start with much, but I can't stop thinking we definitely have something going on now." Finishing his ritual declaration, he uses the towel hanging around his neck to wipe his brow before bending over to wash his hands. With only his bald dome visible over the high back of the counter, he continues to talk to you. "We're slowly reaching the end of the season, it's always an exciting time, the peak of business, then I'll consider taking a quick break before the next one".
His voice is sometimes barely audible, as his indistinct accent and the noise in the place conjugate to muddle his words. A faint gurgling sound emerges from somewhere behind there, and he pops out to pass you a glass frosted by the cold beer inside it. "I'll be right up with you, once I'm done with the fellas sitting at the tables, you know how it is ..." You watch him step out from behind the counter and readjust his apron as he step towards the rest of the customers.
While waiting for him to come back, you take a sip of your beer and look around, trying to understand why the place feels so familiar and exotic at the same time. The old counter, scarred by years of service, pairs well with the wobbly but comfortable stools. It exsudes a faint smell of beeswax that blends into the parade of spicy scents trooping out of the kitchen, all of them closely followed by the inescapable whiff of humidity omnipresent in the city. The ground is simple concrete, but swept clean; the paper lanterns show advertisement for foreign, and probably forgotten, beers but are not dusty.Their diffuse light gives the low ceiling pretensions of height; while barely reaching the walls to reveal series of pictures and posters about distant, enigmatic lands where the kitchen spices probably come from. Past the counter, customers are sitting at the low tables, a common sight as of late.
The huge figure is still there, in the middle, hunched over a massive bowl, and chomping. Next to him, two fellows in furry hats laugh loudly and make fun of a third one. A group of pointy eared silhouettes sit slightly aside and pick at their dish with chopsticks. A tiny hooded customer sits next to the wall, tackling his meal with a wooden spoon firmly held in his ... paw? Past him a duo of scantily clad women sporting feathered baubles talk while reading their menu. Completing today's set of visitors, a massive hulking trio sits at the back, grunting interrogatively at each other.
The owner comes back, pocketing some money, and hands you the menu over the counter. "What was I saying ? Ahh.. yes! We'll see how this season goes and we'll decide what to do for the next one." You notice a glint of pride and pleasure in the eye he casts over his motley assembly of customers. You're about to ask what he means by season and break, but he ducks into the kitchen and out of sight before you can even ask. Might as well get down to business then.You take another sip of your beer and check what the menu holds for today.
Division 1: Big O's flagship, carrying its pride across the high seas and beyond
Doomed Witches (2050TV Delves) vs Lazy Lounge Lizards UTD (1880TV Lizards) - Recipe
When the two prominent representatives of their respective culinary traditions meet, only the finest recipes are to be expected, and delivered. Will delight you until the last bite.
Outline: "A brilliant confluence of skill, and purpose" as the famous author once said.
2-1 for Doomed Witches
Ratfuckers United (1180TV Skavens) vs Bash Incorporated (2180TV Orcs) - Recipe
A seasonal classic, always highly anticipated: Orcish fungal tofu in Skaven cheese fondue. A potent mixture always yielding exciting results, though not for the sensitive stomachs.
Outline: Most people consider one serving a season enough: indulge but do not abuse.
2-1 for Bash Incorporated
Division 2: The class of pretenders, solid fundamentals with a wilder streak
The 08th MS Team (1640TV Vamps) vs Monty's Tosspots (1240TV Flings) - Recipe
When Vamp rich sauces meet Halfling famed meat dishes. Might not sound like a classic, but you would regret passing such an exotic opportunity.
Outline: Another proof that division 2 holds riches, in unique currencies.
5-3 for Monty's Tosspots.
Faces of 4Chan (1980TV Nurgle) vs Old Hobart Honeybadgers (2070TV Helves) - Recipe
There is no culinary arts as tortuous as the Nurgle stews. There is no haute cuisine more classical than the High Elf steamed veggies. And yet, this unnatural couscous always attracts its crowd of aficionados.
Outline: Ingredients seemingly diametrically opposed, yet revealing each other most intense flavours.
2-1 for Old Hobart Honeybadgers
Division 3: The reserve, to be cultivated and launched on the front when ready
Fork Tonnes (1440TV Lizards) vs School of Dance (1910TV Welves) - Recipe
Reptilian meals are more popular this season; and Wood Elves snacks, while rare, never go out of fashion.Not a staple of the Big O yet, but with all the specifics to become one.
Outline: A slow cooked fricassée only the patient will enjoy at its true value.
7-3 for School of Dance
Sassy Soviets (1700TV Kislevs) vs Da Git Mob (1690TV Orcs) - Recipe
Another attraction of these recent seasons, the Kislev pickled vegetables put together on slices of Orcish bread, for a snack that should fill even the healthiest appetite.
Outline: Caution. Orcish bread, reputed as tough the Dwarvish one, can sometimes become soggy.
2-1 for Sassy Soviets
Divisions 4: The R&D department, where oddity can rhyme with future glory
Da Kahoonaz (1400TV Orcs) vs Gullenheim Doozebags (1480TV Helves) - Recipe
Some say the Dark Elves sorbets are without equal, some say everything is better with some Orc spices on it. Sometimes both groups meet and weird experiments happen.
Outline: Orc spices smothered any Dark Elf sweet & sour subtlety this time, to be tried again.
2-0 for Da Kahoonaz
Fate: Grand Order (1330TV Brets) vs Bulldoserz (1560TV Chorfs) - Recipe
An obscure attempt at blending together Bretonian pastries and Chaos Dwarves alcohols. Extra points for the endeavour and the powerful flavours.
Outline: Pastries and booze... we have known worse ways to close a meal.
3-1 for Bulldoserz
This weekly piece, with its qualities and short comings, wouldn't exist without many other contributions. Hence the following words of gratitude: to the admins, technicians, recappers, writers and coaches for taking on their time to make ReBBL a splendid place to enjoy our Blood Bowl hobby.
More specific and personal thanks, in alphabetical order:
- Cynergy: Member of [O₂] clan. Coach of "The Nurgtown Crooners". Big O streamer. Recapper of division 3. Proud owner of a ReBBL mug. Has never played Lizards in CCL, that is a base canard.
- Fyrs: Coach of "Saturday Night Femur". Recent arrival but very active in the Big O community and other competitions. Sometimes offer commentary-free broadcasts of some ReBBL games, to help when available.
- Gypsy Prince: Coach of "One Punch Ogre". REL streamer. Our editor-in-chief here at the news section, always working in secret to make the new website better. Many thanks for enduring me and my entitle requests.
- Krusader: Leader of [bOot] clan. Coach of "Muten Roshi Bear's School". Big O streamer. Recapper of divisions 1&2. Nominated for the title of "King of the Hot Tub 2018". Delivers peerless eulogies.
- Majorbyte: Coach of "Âlve". The tireless worker behind ReBBL.net, without which present article would simply not exist. No doubt he will make the website so good, that one day it will replace yours truly. Hat off, Sir.
- PapaNasty: Leader of [O] clan, coach of "Bash Incorporated". Big O streamer. Offers late games streams of his games. Keeps a kindly eye on future Big O coaches . Knows his letters and numbers in Thai.
- Schlice: Member of [O₂] clan. Coach of the "Ratfuckers United". The person you have to thank every time you see the match reports, check the play-offs brackets and the match summaries, or sell rats on the players market.
- Seriasssam: Member of clan [HrsY]. Coach of "Leaping Lizardss". Big O Streamer. Recapper of division 4A. A recent and active addition to the community as well. Saii_Maa's padawan. Prays for OP skinks.
- Tommo: Member of [O₂] clan. Coach of "The Arcana". Big O Streamer. As passionate a streamer as he is talented coaching Elves. Will question dubious music choices. Might re-roll to Dark Elves.