Week 1 was a harrowing experience for clan GROON as they couldn’t pull the near wins into actual wins. After a blazing hot start, going 5-0 in week one, F-News has continued to win out in week 2 against crowd favorite HORSEY and week 3 against the newcomers LOWTR. They look to continue the streak against Dash. Read more about these teams and their impact players!

Other clans, bask in our greatness and write articles of your teams as well! Here is a template to build from.

[F-News] Fox and Friends

The clan is lead by the talented Underworld coach Gypsy Prince. No affiliation… This coach has succeeded against all odds against Dwarves, Skaven, and in the Underworld mirror match and is currently 3-0. It is probably best to just send your fluffiest team against Fox and Friends because they will probably defeat any team put against it. Please, things with low armor, or low TV only. Not Dwarves, he will probably get super lucky again, and win 3-2. Drumpf the Pro-Troll is becoming a nightmare on the pitch, but look out for Kellyanne “The Con-way” and “No Hart” Coulter, as they are leaving trails of injured players behind them.

[F-News] Click-Baiters S4

Coming in with equal wins, but ones that are far more one sided, the Click-Baiters, coached by Iron Master. This coach will kill you with kindness while slowly aggravating you with stupid elf nonsense. Take your eyes off their wardancers These 10 Simple Tricks! And HUGE RED ARROW OMG!!!!!! For a second, and you will wonder why you are down another touchdown. Expect more from You won’t Believe #3 and Hot Girls DOING WHAT!!!! As they start to take some of the workload off the dancers.

[F-News] Vile Vaccines

The team that personifies the corruption of the media, Vile Vaccines and their coach Holes, show you how to hit things with a wifflebat. These friendly, but ghoulish, figures are more likely to greet you with a shove, than they are to make you meet the dirt. Smallpox has been eating up the Star Player Points, so expect him to continue to impact the game and infect your local team. Influenza was out for a week, and Whooping Cough has been more of a small sneeze, but when these two start working together with Polio, look out world!

[F-News] The Outlets

Never has a number of terrible puns based on syndicated news brought so much pain. The Outlets, coached by PhilisOffiCool, continue to bully other teams on the pitch. Sporting multiple dirty players, this team doesn’t believe in giving others a sporting chance. The Bebe Sea continues to rack up Star Player Points even with such a talented player like Al Jays Heruh playing opposite side. Al Jays Heruh leads the league in completed passes, but you didn’t see that one coming. Poor Cebey Sea, the forgotten about blitzer is one touchdown away from creating an impact.

[F-News] Talkin’ Heads

After having a hot start, a few injuries have slowed the team slightly, more specifically Meil Cup-or-Two. Carrying a bulk of the workload, Laura Ingra-Man has been leading this team to victory. This well rounded team is poised to break out as multiple players are lining up to gain another level, future coaches will expect to see Bill O’Rly? and Eric Bowling hitting the pitch and causing damage to opposing players.

Conclusion

F-News is the most talked about story in Clan League. Mostly, because no other clan has anything written about them. This article will probably not age well, unless F-News continues their dominant streak. Three cheers for faux news.

- Gypsy Prince

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