The Ref blew his whistle to signal the end of the match, to what had been an outstanding comeback by the skaven, goblins, and troll of They Came from Down under.  But team spirits were not high, for despite their 3 touchdown second half, they knew what awaited them in the change rooms. It was the last match of the season, and judging on their previous performances, unemployment and a life of shady warpstone dealing loomed for the members of their team. Coach Kool was known for his quick dismissal of teams that displeased him. So after a quick throttling of the ref who had refused their bribe, the team drudged towards the change rooms, prepared for the worst. Even their Troll, Pavlova, fresh off his best recorded performance, looked dejected, the skaven and goblins in such a foul mood they halted their incessant feuding.

 

Yet coach sensed their desire to go on. The players had put up much improved performances over the past weeks, with their last 6 games going 4-0-2. Sure they had finished 5-1-7, but things were looking up. Pavlova had not eaten any teammates. Feuds between players were kept strictly on the sidelines. Boring, vanilla, skaven had been murdered. So coach offered them an ultimatum.

“If you boys are willing to train harder than ever this offseason, we’ll continue playing as a team.”

 

Cheers erupted around the room, as goblins and skaven together cheered in excitement as one. This weird sight was only triumphed by Pavlova sprouting a pair of tentacles on the spot. Coach briefly wondered what the league official who Pavlova had consumed prior to the match had been eating, before gesturing for quiet

“But we’ll need to review our season performance. It’ll help pass the time. Hopefully for our avid fans too. We’ll start with those we lost this season along the way,” he remarked, as he began scribbling furiously upon his whiteboard.

 

Players no longer with us

ACDC- Stormvermin

13 games, 8 CAS and 1 death inflicted. 18 SPP gained

Killed by Morka The Apothecary, Week 10

A truly hard working member of the team, never flashy in his cold brutality, for all his skills came from cold blooded destruction alone. The Apothecary who failed to save him  took his life was quickly made the subject of new “medical procedures” post match. These included, but were not limited to, Liver transplant, arm transplant, and head transplant, however some team members noted post these operations that they tend to be unsuccessful if the limbs are not actually replaced with anything.

 

The Platypus- Skaven Thrower. 

A broken leg forced this thrower into an early retirement. Platypus was infuriated at this early dismissal, calling for the help of the players association, as he believed “I don’ see wot me leg haf to do wif frowing the ball”.The Players association stated that it does not negotiate with rats or their fellow lawyers. Is now engaged in a lengthy legal battle with the team after Star thrower, Drop bears, faced similar injury and continues to play.

 

Some Goblin

Deceased

 

Some Goblin

Deceased

 

Some Tasmanian Goblin

Deceased

 

Some Goblin

Suffered 2 Blocks lazy git

Deceased

 

Some Goblin

Deceased

 

Some Goblin

Took 49 blocks prior to kicking it. An Exemplary fellow. If only we recorded his name

Deceased

 

Some Goblin

Deceased

 

Be sure to tune in next time (knowing my articles you mightn’t ever get another one but hey)

Hopefully I will continue to write these over the off season and during next seasons excitement. 

- liamcoulston

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