Bent-O [S9W13]

Wind squeezes and swirls in the narrow alleys alongside you leading your way to the restaurant. It is later than usual and the rush hour is past, leaving only some plastic bags and leaflets in its wake. Some drift in the wind, and glide across the entrance of the restaurant in front of you, as the world's saddest cortege.

No queue outside tonight. Only the gray obscurity of the alley broken by a single ray of yellow light, spouting of the half-assedly pulled sliding door. Next to it a figure is nonchalantly leaning against the wall, puffing on something producing a periodical bright red dot followed by an extensive cloud of fragrant smoke.

"Good evening!" You recognize the peculiar accent of the owner. "I thought we would not be able to see you for our last event." He straightens up, and you can see his familiar smile curl on his half-lit face. "Thank you for your patronage. I mean it. You're a regular now and without you this adventure wouldn't have been possible." He gestures towards the door with what seems a long, thin pipe. Music and shouts seem to be coming from inside.

"We're having a party to celebrate the end of the season. You'll see it's quite something." He turns around and slide the door open before stepping aside and signaling you to get in first. You pass him as he taps his pipe distractedly against the wall, wincing as the infernal indoor clamor is almost enough to make you step back. You feel, more than you hear, the owner close the door behind you before stepping to your side. "Ah! It's always a surprise for the first time..." You take in the sight as he taps you lightly on the shoulder and continues his way towards the counter, laughing.Some counter seats are occupied by a couple of new faces you haven't seen before, all wearing the bewildered expression you're probably displaying yourself.

Past them, the room gives the impression of extending endlessly under the low hanging lanterns.The crowd back there nonetheless seems to fill all available space, sat at the tables or standing around. The hulking trio seem to be pushing rocks on a table and grunting in turns while, next to them a quatuor of fur hats wearers exchange loud catcalls. Further away, a scantily clad woman rolls some dice with a green skinned lad next to a table hosting the werewolf like patron from last time and a tall thin customer sporting a mohawk.
You distinguish a dark silhouette hunching at a table, being cheered up by a small blue lizard, a bare chested figure in closed helmet and a small hooded figure. Three more hooded ones zoom low along the tables, chittering between them and grabbing everything they can put their paws on. 

You take your seat and catch the owner's proffered glass of beer. "It's quite the celebration you know. Some of them will have a rather busy set of weeks ahead, and others are departing our shores. So it's an opportunity for carousing." The end of his sentence his drowned by loud calls and cheers.
You turn around to see a huge scaly reptile holding a up-to-scale beer tankard, by what seems to be a prehensile tail, standing up and being cheered by the crowd. The scene then repeats for a red haired man in horned helmet and fur briefs; a muscle flexing and pointy-eared fellow jumping around and a small hooded figure with green teeth standing on a table.
The chants, loud calls and general banter take over the background din and you take a swill of from your glass. The owner calls you before you can start to study the menu. "We have a great selection today, enjoy! And don't worry, you'll have news from us soon enough..." He disappears in the crushing press of patrons, laughing along them.

Division 1 -  The elite corps of the Big O, although some say corpse.

TeenageMutantNinjaGoblins (1390TV Underworld) vs Bash Inc (2600TV Orcs) - Recipe 
When this recipe came up on the board, some were amazed at the distance between the two ingredients, others repeated miracles happen...
Outline: With such an insane amount of warpstone in the broth, some Orc meat got dissolved.
3-1 TMNG

T.A.R.D.I.S (1660TV Lizards) vs Doomed Witches (2140TV Delves) - Recipe 
The last apparition of one of emblematic Lizard components of the Big O, paired with probably the most potent of Dark Elves spices this season...
Outline: Quality Delf&Zard burrito, in a tight wrap.
2-1 for Doomed Witches 

Division 2 - The gang of contenders, ready to do anything to climb up.

The 08th MS Team (1780TV Vamps) vs Red Skulls Go Faster (1810TV Orcs) - Recipe 
At times overlooked at the start of this season, Vampire vintages are in high demand for the last week, an they didn't disappoint this one either... 
Outline: Orc mushroom skewers with their Vampire red, beautiful color and pleasant, if for a sometimes weak body.
3-0 for 08th MS Team

Capital Rats (1230TV Rats) vs Old Hobart Honeybadgers (2080TV Helves) - Recipe 
A symbol of this division. The proper end to loop it all. Skaven and Helves: always highly expected, rarely disappointing.Except for some mean spirits...
Outline: Skaven blue cheese and Helven corn salad, a match made in heaven.

Division 3 - The rows of hopeful simpletons ready for slaughter.

The Carroburg Comets (1840TV Humans) vs School of Dance (1940TV Welves) - Recipe 
Human cuisine can be symbolized by bread: simple, versatile but not particularly outstanding. You can always upgrade it with a handful of Welven fruits...
Outline: A good chew but beware, some fruits have hard pits.
3-2 for School of Dance

Sassy Soviets (1720TV Kislevs) vs Fork Tonnes (1510TV Lizards) - Recipe 
Is there still any need to introduce a returning feature of this division? Kislev pickled cabbage and Lizard gumbo: popular this season, returning the next on...
Outline: A proven solid combo, in entrée or as main course.
3-2 for Sassy Soviets

Divisions 4 - The Petri dish of the Big O, home to wicked and future stars.

Masters of the Underverce (1590TV Underworld) vs Da Kahoonaz (1530TV Orcs) - Recipe 
If you enjoyed this one earlier this season, and would have enjoyed another serving, thank the Swiss round for bringing it back. So grab your plate and spoon...
Outline: Orc jello, with a hint of warpstone, served by He-Rat.
2-0 of MotU

Clash of Comrades (1260TV Kislev) vs The Bizkit Rizkitz (1160TV Goblins) - Recipe 
While one can deplore the lack of presence of Goblin cuisine along the ReBBL, one can always come around to get something from the kitchen of the Big O...
Outline: Gobbo Bizkitz™ and Kislev beetroot gravy, an original combo...
1-0 for the Bizkit Rizkitz 

And to finish your meal have a Nuffle Kiss™, the digestive shot façon Big O.

This weekly piece, with its qualities and short comings, wouldn't have existed without many other contributions. Hence the following words of gratitude: to the admins, technicians, recappers, writers and coaches for taking on their time to make ReBBL a splendid place to enjoy our Blood Bowl hobby.
Thank you to those who expressed their support openly or by simply reading these pieces and enduring my subpar fiction writing pretenses. 

More specific and personal thanks, in alphabetical order:

  • Cynergy: Member of [O₂] clan. Coach of "The Nurgtown Crooners". Big O streamer. Committed to recaps. has been seen drinking liquor in a ReBBL mug. Experimented in CCL with notable Dorf success. Owns a Nurgle team of great potential.
  • Fyrs: Coach of "Saturday Night Femur". Has an unnatural attraction for really strong mummies. Can clean a backyard filled with post-typhoon vegetation wreckage in no time.
  • Gypsy Prince: Coach of "One Punch Ogre". REL streamer. Our editor-in-chief here at the news section. Did an awesome job all season long by putting the News website together and giving us writers more visibility.
  • Krusader: Leader of [bOot] clan. Coach of "Muten Roshi Bear's School". Big O streamer with a strong sense of community. Recapped Div1&2 with XS. Developed an unhealthy addiction to MtGA. Beats his ladyfriend mercilessly at Street Fighter. 
  • Majorbyte: Coach of "Âlve". The tireless worker behind, your one-stop shop from signing-up to keeping track on your season. All of this in a single season, not to mention over a play-off period. A titanesque achievement.
  • PapaNasty: Leader of [O] clan, coach of "Bash Incorporated". Big O streamer. Exemplary leader and thorough thinker. Man of great advice from living abroad to play-by-play analysis, many newer coaches can thank him.
  • Schlice: Member of [O₂] clan. Coach of the "Ratfuckers United". Thank him every time you see the match reports, check the play-offs brackets and the match summaries on Nufflytics. Won't be buying your rats no more!
  • Seriasssam: Member of clan [HrsY]. Coach of "Leaping Lizardss". Big O Streamer. Active Lizard coach. Hates facing Claw, Leap and ST4. Will answer his call and reroll into Woodies eventually.
  • Tommo: Member of [O₂] clan. Coach of "The Arcana". Big O Streamer. Underrated Elf coach. Passionate caster. Not a fan of fried oysters, but ask him anything about the Jersey Royal.

- Zee

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