There is something in the wind today blowing under the high afternoon sun, but already settling down. It's a calling for wild and immensurable swathes of land, tucked in secret corners, hidden in that maze of alleys you call your backyard. As you stride along them, the warm sirocco is pushing whirls of red dust around your ankles, as an echo to the fiery orange of the sky.
Some shreds of music floating out the door welcome you as you arrive at the familiar hideaway. A couple of silhouettes are standing next to the door, discussing in the red and purple gloom. You recognize two of the fur hat wearers: the one sporting a toga is listening to his counterpart, who displays a magnificent red beard and a slouch hat folded up on one side. As you enter the door you can hear the latter : "... and that's how I ended up invading Afghanistan..."
You dive in, the two of them on your heels, still taken in their dialogue. Passing by the board you notice a new sign reading "Absolutely No Alliterations Allowed!". Making way to your usual seat, you cannot really parse this one out. The counter is crowded tonight, and you end up rubbing elbows with a helmeted human occupied at drawing furiously on a notepad with crayons. The owner steps out of the kitchen, waves at you and starts pouring a beer from his wooden keg under the counter.
You can hear him sing under his breath: "Proxy woman... Running down the pitch... Proxy woman ... Looking damn hot on Twitch..." He straightens up and places the drink in front of you. Taking the opportunity, you ask him if that is meeting from last week getting him in such a good mood. "Yes, as a matter of course, I found some overseas investment opportunities. You see, I'm trying to branch out, get out of the hospitality business, try new ventures. Nothing's certain for now, so let's keep it between us." You nod in response and take a sip of your beer as you watch him step out to dive in the throng of patrons.
In the main room you spot a werewolf and a blue-faced Dorf sitting opposite a checkered table, they start to move their pieces on the board and instantly stop to reset the game. Next to them the massive reptile with swim fins tied to his waist is reclining in a chair; a tropical cocktail in hand and a snorkeling mask on his snout. The large round table at the center is occupied once more by those tubby, suspenders wearing Halflings; two groups face each other and fling food across the table when they're not occupied at wolfing it down. Next to the stairs, a bare-chested acrobat and his elvish counterpart take turns at leaping over tables and benches, under the cheers of other patrons.
At the first gallery above, the massive fellow in flannel shirt parades smugly around carrying a sign reading "#1". A large green orc in flame swimming trunks is busy waxing a surfboard; mirroring in this a lean, bald human focused on polishing his brass knuckles. In a side room, a bloated goat and a small skink sit facing each other, one drinking a beer, the other kombucha tea in a mason jar.
The top gallery offers a view of an orc blitzer leaning over the rail, apparently lost in a medieval edition of Soldier of Fortune. Another large Orc with his arm in a sling is trying blue face paint under the doubtful eye of a lopsided zombie. In a side room, a mohawk'ed elf is hunched over a pile of papers, scribbling away with a red pen. In the second one, the Dorf in leather jacket and fake pointy ears can be seen ripping away the feline style mitt from the limp hands of a beaten up elf.
You're brought back from your observation once more by the scrapping sound of the slate being slid your way by the owner. "Try our special menu today, it was inspired by one of my old mates." He steps back in the kitchen, brushing away some red dust on his sleeve. Intrigued, you check what the kitchen has to offer today.
Div1: Unmistakable treasures of the Big O.
Shadowhill Cowboys (1770 DElves) vs Old Hobart Honeybadgers (1660 HElves) - Recipe
If you had to try one thing only today, pick this one. The collision of Helvish and Delvish cuisines for a firework to leave your taste buds dizzy. Freshly shucked oysters with their soy, chili and cucumber vinaigrette with finger lime beads. To die for.
5-1 Shadowhill Cowboys
The Rat Way To Go (1880 Rats) vs Children of Ymir (2470 Dorfs) - Recipe
Looking for something a bit more traditional are you. Some opposition of style but with a final synergy, would you like that? Take a slice of our tried and tested Dorf damper bread, then marvel at the incredible nuttiness of Skaven paw-picked wattle seeds in it.
Div2: A taste of the wild straight from your plate.
The Scuffling Dead (1760 Necro) vs The Carroburg Comets (1940 Humies) - Recipe
It is said: you want something tastier, turn to Necro foods. Not a wrong move, but not dismiss Human cooks that fast. Picture expertly smoked trout like only them can do now with a branches of wild samphire, pickled Necro style for a nice crunchy and salty taste.
2-0 Carroburg Comets
Never Swapping (1810 Necro) vs Sassy Soviets (2060 Kislev) - Recipe
The Necro arts of the table are honored this week. This one may be doozy but you'll be back asking for more. Kislev style potato dumplings stir fried in breadcrumbs and butter, served with a side of Necro Warrigal greens relish. A stunner.
Div3: Big O style sandwich to have on the go.
Celebrity Veg 2.0 (1560 Kislev) vs Winged Centaurs (1600 Chorfs) - Recipe
Always leaping from one place to another, Kislev circus brought sandwich preparations to new heights. When they encounter Chorfs ingredients, the sublime meets the bizarre. Cold roast lamb, sharp cheese, baked sweet potato and samphire pesto in rye bread, to go.
2-0 Winged Centaurs
Div4: That afternoon tea delicacy you craved for.
Liverfull (1890 Dorfs) vs Cold Coast Creeps (1340 Underworld) - Recipe
Dorf baking traditions go back to the roots of time, with tons of their stone tablet records dedicated to the sole subject. No wonder their biscuits are revered in every kitchen, especially when some Underworld chef added the unique zing of his lemon myrtle.
2-1 Cold Coast Creeps
Divs5: Cheese plate and desserts, ending in style.
Wood Land Warriors (1550 WElves) vs Less Useful Mutants (1530 Chaos) - Recipe
Looking for something to spice up your cheese plate for that Sunday lunch? You then need to try our quandong chutney. When Welvish insane love for berries meet Chaos science of preserves. Sweet, bitter with a hint of salty, a whole symphony.
2-1 Less Useful Mutants
Salty Necc (1380 Necro) vs Mal Fario (1480 HElves) - Recipe
You want something sweet, but tough. You want something elegant, but with some crunch. Then this dessert borne out of Necro and Helvish traditions is for you. Melted chocolate poured onto macadamia nuts, coconut and marshmallows. served straight outta the fridge.
1-0 Mal Fario
Deepest thanks go to all the admin staff and tech wizards making possible for all of us to meet, play and write about Blood Bowl.
Here's a list of Big O streamers you should follow; for future time quality Blood Bowl:
- AussieViking: Coach of Winged Centaurs, co-host of Div 3 recaps with Fyrs, our CCL Vamps experimenter.
- Cynergy: Coach of The Nurgtown Crooners, host of Div 2 recaps with Nick, yells "Google!" like no one else.
- Fyrs: Coach of Saturday Nyght Femur, co-host of Div 3 recaps with AussieViking, wandering polyglot of the Big O.
- GdayNick: Coach of The Ball Pinchers, co-caster of Div 2 recaps alongside Cynergy, you can call him Don Hector.
- Krusader: Coach of Muten Roshi's Bear School, host of Div 1 recaps with XS, spreads Third Way ideas in HOI4.
- PapaNasty: Coach of Bash Incorporated, host of Div 5B recaps, ha the time to roll 3 CCL teams this season.
- Rhys: Coach of That's Chaos Theory, host of Div 5 A recaps, likes to troll Big O with paradisiac pictures.
- Seriassam: Coach of Leaping Lizardss, traumatized by Div 2, still to lose a meaningful player to death div.
- SkyblueMonty: Coach of Monty's Tosspots, will play Halflings everywhere, doesn't like rain in the stew.
- Tommo: coach of The Arcana, host of Div 4 recaps with Jamus, leaves romaji to low-tier weebs.