Life seems to have returned to the streets. Lampoons and firecrackers are only present in the form of shredded pieces of red paper dotting the sidewalks. Passers-by walk with the remnants of a holiday smile on their busy face. The alleys you travel are resonating with the sound of life returned: phone rings, cries of children and calls of wandering repairmen. Here and there a small shrine incinerator is puffing away smoke from joss money devotees burn, when not occupied at sweeping the grounds. The whole atmosphere breathes of long memories and coming changes.
The strange hide-out looks unfazed by the change of year. The now familiar neon sign buzzes and blinks away as an illusory paradoxical symbol of permanence. As you take your coat off and prepare to enter, the door slides open and gives way to a small goblin. His puffed out face displays a pouty scowl as he bumps you out of his way, to keep trundling and mumbling away down the alley. Slightly perplexed, you still know better than to ask questions and just step inside, closing the door behind you.
The owner spots you right away and wipes the counter at your usual seat. You notice that a few of the counter stools are occupied. First is a bloated goat all focused in what looks like a dentistry treaty. Next to him is a large patron in with a massive steel helmet, scribbling furiously on a notepad. The third and last patron, a massive Ogre is twirling a glass of wine while perusing some pamphlets about breast pumps. Your own drink is already waiting for you, cold and all misted up, when you plop down your seat. With the owner nowhere to be seen, you take a sip and look around for the night crowd.
In the main room, the central table is occupied by a mixed congregation. The large reptile with swim fins tied to his waist share what look like a dish of rodent meat with massive smiling Orc and a bare chested elf, the latter busy with scratching the likelihood of male genitalia in the table. Among the disparate group, a large ghoul with oversized shoulders chews happily at something glowing green. At sidewall table a lanky acrobat steals morsels from the plate of a short and chubby fellow lost in his feast. Under the stairs a dwarf is sat in front of a couple of tankards and whistles merrily while cleaning his brass knuckles.
On the first level gallery, two patrons try to steal the #1 sign from each other: the flannel shirt wearer keeps pushing a werewolf to the ground but he keeps standing back up. In a side room, a bald lean human is leaning back on a sofa, feet on the table, and examines contentedly what looks like an orcish boot. In the other room, a couple of bloated goats trade trophies: a lizard bracelet for one and an evil looking beard braid for the other.
The top floor gallery displays an elf with a bleached mohawk trying to clean away some blood stains on his vest. Next to him a fur hat bearer is sitting on the rail, trying alternatively his fur hat and a steel helm. In a private room, a muscular orc is occupied at typing away on his typewriter, stopping every now and then to push back the orcish crown on his brow.
As always you're dragged out your reverie by the return of the owner. "Hi there, sorry to have you waiting." He pushes a menu your way. "Ahh... take in this ambiance." He breathes heavily through his nose as if to demonstrate. "I cannot tell you how proud I am of the success of this venture. I started small you know, and we didn't have much patronage. But I had nothing better to do and, surprisingly, some people kept coming back."
He smiles knowingly. "Yes it is not going to be the same next season but I am sure you'll find something to scratch your itch. I will probably be able to point you in the right direction if needed. Me? Oh well, I plan to invest in a sporting venture owned by a foreign franchise. I heard it's all the rage these days." Answering a call, he raps his knuckles on the counter and sets out to distribute drinks to his customers. You take another sip of yours and check what is on the menu today.
Div1: Our selection of finest culinary specialities.
School of Dance (1810 WElves) vs The Arcana (1880 PrElves) - Recipe
There are rumours about a fusion elf dish called, and we finally have a proof it exists. Take the famous Woodie wild boar sausages and slide a pair in a large sticky rice sausage made by Pro cooks. Sausages in a large sausage the ultimate elf hotdog!
1-0 The Arcana
Warc Machine III (1980 Orcs) vs Bash Incorporated (2370 Orcs) - Recipe
For those looking for a dish as spicy as it gets, you're in the right place. We all know Orcs like their food well spiced-up, and it can hardly get more fiery than this Orc hotpot. Toss some Orc chili and flower pepper in the broth for that unmistakable sting and numbing sensation.
2-0 Warc Machine II
Div2: The ordinary's gone? Risk it on the bizarre!
Trump's Chumps (1940 Nurgle) vs Leaping Lizardss (1830 Lizards) - Recipe
When Nurgle chef meets Lizard chef, expect something salty and sticky. This week for you: thick cuttlefish soup, surprisingly clear for a Nurgle dish, splashed with the traditional salty Lizard fish paste. Don't knock it until you've tried it!
1-0 Trump's Chumps
The One True Path (1740 Chaos) vs The Scuffling Dead (1750 Necro) - Recipe
Chaos and Necro lining up behind the cooking station made a lot of people expect something bloody; but they came up with something more subtle. The "3 Cups" chicken: 1 cup play-offs contention, 1 cup Claw Mighty Blow, 1 cup dice chucking. The surprise of the week.
Div3: For those with a taste for acquired tastes.
Cyrus's Viruses (1560 Nurgle) vs Winged Centaurs (1650 Chorfs) - Recipe
When Nurgle and Chorf chefs meet up you know you're in for something special; both enjoying dishes with a strong, pronounced taste. Feast on their result: minced pork, bamboo shoots and mushrooms wrapped in tapioca starch, boiled and served with hot sauce.
2-0 Cyrus's Viruses
Div4: Snacks with a kick, bites with a punch.
Clash of Comrades (1720 Kislev) vs Chaos from Laos (1780 Chaos) - Recipe
Time to try a classic of Chaos road food: the coffin bread. Take a thick square of bread, dip it in egg and the deep fry it. Open the top and fill with something savoury, like curry or something. This week inside: Kislev style black pepper beef for an extra kick.
1-0 Clash of Comrades
Divs5: Special desserts, all made with guests.
Furry Harem (1580 Rats) vs That's Chaos Theory (1510 Lizards) - Recipe
A special edition this week in our dessert section, with a drink to sate your thirst. Blend in fragrant black tea and Skaven premium milk. Nothing extravagant so far. Until you drop in there Lizardmen tapioca balls for that bonus dose of extra chewiness!
2-0 That's Chaos Theory
Very Dead Corpses (1740 Necro) vs Freakmasons (1570 UW) - Recipe
Another guest bringing a twist on our local sweets. The science of Necromantics when it comes to ice-cream is not to prove any more, take their thin crêpe roll filled with vanilla and taro ice-cream. Now add to it a dash of crushed peanuts and coriander, for that underworld zing!
2-1 Very Dead Corpses
Deepest thanks go to all the admin staff and tech wizards making possible for all of us to meet, play and write about Blood Bowl.
Here's a list of Big O streamers you should follow; for future time quality Blood Bowl:
- AussieViking: Coach of Winged Centaurs, co-host of Div 3 recaps with Fyrs, keeps a mangled Skaven in a sock.
- Cynergy: Coach of The Nurgtown Crooners, host of Div 2 recaps with Nick, Big O smooth talking broadcaster.
- Fyrs: Coach of Saturday Nyght Femur, co-host of Div 3 recaps with AussieViking, vile Ogre propagandist.
- GdayNick: Coach of The Ball Pinchers, co-caster of Div 2 recaps alongside Cynergy, brings oxygen to play-ins.
- Krusader: Coach of Muten Roshi's Bear School, host of Div 1 recaps with XS, keeps the suspense alive about S11.
- PapaNasty: Coach of Bash Incorporated, host of Div 5B recaps, able to lead clans all the way from the beach.
- Rhys: Coach of That's Chaos Theory, host of Div 5 A recaps, leading his lizards through play-ins ambushes.
- Seriassam: Coach of Leaping Lizardss, traumatized by Div 2, can still win the wooden spoon before re-rolling.
- SkyblueMonty: Coach of Monty's Tosspots, will play Halflings everywhere, will play Halflings anytime.
- Swagtusk: Coach of Sassy Soviets, Krusader's franchisee, is armed with a POMB peasant and not afraid to use him.
- Tommo: coach of The Arcana, host of Div 4 recaps with Jamus, Big O pillar and premium motivational speaker.