Apparently it was time to add some decoration this week. Besides the usual joyful din, you find a large map of the world to welcome you past the door. Sprawling on the wall, it is already covered in a cloud of colorful pins. As you walk by on your way to the counter, you pass one of those fur hat wearers on his way out. Muttering angrily in his beard, he waves a plane ticket in his hand and leaves a massive cloud of smoke in his wake.
Sitting on your usual stool, you find the owner flicking through a magazine, oblivious to the rest of the world. You ask about the world map and he shakes his head. "Made the mistake of a stupid comment. Then the boys went in a frenzy to prove me wrong. Let's leave it at that."
He gestures at you with the magazine. "Have you seen that? We had the manager passing by last week, he left us a few." The magazine is titled "Rodder Report": on the cover a bold headline sports "Record Win Streaks!" and, lower, a smaller one reads "Hype Videos: Only 946 Hours Of Work Each!" The owner pensively pours the traditional drink and puts it in front of you. "He also left us some posters for Bargain Boozers Armor Emporium, but the lads had me take them down..."
He then sets on his way to get you a menu and you observe his advance among the crowd. He passes a knight occupied at shining his boots, and exchanges a few words with a talkative green skin. You see him wipe the table were a sad werewolf is having a drink with a chubby personage wearing a naval bicorn hat. You then lose track of him behind a table occupied by a hooded rat playing five finger fillet with a small reptile wearing an ushanka. Under the stairs you notice a centaur and a bloated satyr comparing hooves.
On the second floor, you see the bald man leaning on the rail, peering down, a black band on his arm. In a room behind him a bunch of blue-faced dwarves sing loudly while braiding each other beards. A small figure in a pointed helm crouches near by, all focused on sharpening its long green claws.
Higher again, a hulking orc in flip-flops drinks from a soda can while talking to a towering reptile with a spiked tail. Next to them a bare-chested elf in green britches suspiciously eyes a lopsided zombie occupied at wiping cleats he pulls out of a bag.
You finally see the owner emerge from the press of customers, a menu firmly in hand. He passes it to you with a few words. "Next week will be double the length. It looks like this rag-tag bunch all need some time to celebrate the same holiday, if you can believe it..." He smacks his lips. "On the plus side, I heard they tend to have special dishes for this occasion, so that's a silver lining I guess." You decide to tackle the food at hand, first.
Div 1: Recommended by the staff, always a safe bet.
The Phobias Reborn! (1900 Undead) vs Muten Roshi's Bear School (1730 Kislev) - Recipe
The return of a beloved duo from last season, an opposition of style between Kislev and Undead kitchen traditions. This week try their Kislev style coleslaw salad with it's special formaldehyde marinade, straight from the lab. If you can take the sting...
Doomed Witches (1770 Delves) vs The Rat Way To Go (1900 Skavens) - Recipe
Be warned, while a unique masterpiece, this one will not work for everyone. Some mad cooks this week came up with this; the evil of Delf style spicy mussels in a sauce of tangy Skaven blue cheese. Best served with a glass of chilled white wine.
4-3 for The Rat Way To Go
Div 2: A tasty, if rather bloody, seasonal selection.
Leapings Lizardss (1890 Lizards) vs The Carroburg Comets (1910 Humans) - Recipe
Not to set a precedent for div 2, this present combo seemed poised to offer us a good, classic meal this week. Picture our surprised faces when they came up a crocodile and kangaroo dish, aka "Crocaroo", a very Big O version of Surf and Turf!
2-1 for The Carroburg Comets
Trump's Chumps (1760 Nurgle) vs Masters of the Underverce (1780 Underworld) - Recipe
We know you lots come to the Big O for more adventurous food adventures. Know that cooking
weirder exotic dishes is not always synonym with hassle. Take that wichetty grub stir-fry for example: simply toss grubs, oil, garlic and Warpstone spices in the pan!
2-1 for Trumps Chumps
Div 3: Classic and exotic side dishes, for all tastes.
Saturday Nyght Femurs (1800 Undead) vs The Way of the Leaf (820 Flings) - Recipe
When hunting around for a filling sandwich, one could do worse than stopping at the Halfling deli. If you add to this the extensive Undead knowledge when it comes to charcuterie, you get yourself a straight up winner. Get one before they're gone.
2-0 for The Way of the Leaf
Div 4: Piece meals for a salty snack or on the go.
Bar Room Blusterers (1530 Welves) vs Cold Coast Creeps (1390 Underworld) - Recipe
You know how fads come and go. Welf cooking, while a classic, can see rise and falls of its popularity. Like this snack: Welf trail mix, with a dash of finely ground Warpstone for the kick. Will get you refreshed and energized for the rest of the day!
2-1 for Cold Coast Creeps
Divs 5: Desserts, sweets and breakfast food.
Wood Land Warriors (1360 Welves) vs Less Useful Mutants (1330 Chaos) - Recipe
Let's face it when someone talked about a Welf/Chaos dish, we were mostly expecting a classic plat de résistance. Fools were we: nobody expected the famed Chaos streaky bacon covered in delicious Welf maple syrup. Extremely addictive.
2-1 for Less Useful Mutants
Hi Ho off to Work we GO! (1380 Chorfs) vs Sticky Green Team (1200 Orcs) - Recipe
Believe it or not, some among us were actually hyped when someone came up with this recipe. Orc mushrooms flambé in Chorf moonshine, as a treat for dessert. Guess we should have seen it coming, those were amanita muscaria...
1-0 for Sticky Green Team
Deepest thanks go to all the admin staff and tech wizards making possible for all of us to meet, play and write about Blood Bowl.
Here's a list of Big O streamers you should follow; for future time quality Blood Bowl:
- AussieViking: Coach of Winged Centaurs, co-host of Div 3 recaps with Fyrs, refuses to be culled any further.
- Cynergy: Coach of The Nurgtown Crooners, host of Div 2 recaps with Nick, streams Nurgle kittens in a shower.
- Fyrs: Coach of Saturday Nyght Femur, co-host of Div 3 recaps with AussieViking, currently traveling to
- GdayNick: Coach of The Ball Pinchers, co-caster of Div 2 recaps alongside Cynergy, slowly fills the Loners quota.
- Krusader: Coach of Muten Roshi's Bear School, host of Div 1 recaps with XS, now trending on Cinder/Adelaide.
- PapaNasty: Coach of Bash Incorporated, host of Div 5B recaps, does not fear KO rolls, will keep on GFI-ing.
- Rhys: Coach of That's Chaos Theory, host of Div 5 A recaps, has been to 31 countries, Antartica still on the list.
- Seriassam: Coach of Leaping Lizardss, will do anything to buy Mira's players, is taking intensive skinkja training.
- SkyblueMonty: Coach of Monty's Tosspots, will never give up on tossing, may play non-fling teams for money.
- Tommo: coach of The Arcana, host of Div 4 recaps with Jamus, will not suffer Jingle Bells Rock any more.