On the way to your weekly special you cannot stop but feel a light sting in the wind. Tugging at your vest, sneaking in your collar, it carries the memories of times passed and the promises of a future still merely out of reach. The shadows floating around the alleyways seem to hold their share of mysteries still unexplored. Their shapes changes irregularly as waves of floating lanterns take off from the rooftops, launched by cheerful inhabitants.
The hideaway seems to be bustling tonight: closing in, you can hear roars of laughter erupt periodically from behind the half slid door. The neon sign blinks and buzzes happily away, albeit off tempo from both the flying lantern squadrons and peals of hilarity.
Opposite of the entrance, a gangly figure is settled on the soap box, a dim look in the eye, drooling slightly as it limply waves a white flag. A few steps away from the door, one of the feathered women is kneeling in front of a tiny altar, holding a lit up incense stick and murmuring a prayer with relief.
You take a long breath, inhaling night scent and incense smoke before folding your vest on your elbow, and stepping in.
You immediately see a series of new posters, each more mysterious than the other. One seem to feature a bunch of cripples as well as digital counter, the second one exhibits what can only be a trophy, the third one's only recognizable feature is a green horn and the last one reads DEVASTATIONAL!!! in blood colored letters. The only thing coming to your mind is that a triple exclamation mark is always the sign of a deranged mind. Peering over the crowded counter, you see the owner as he waves at you and starts cleaning the counter in front of your usual emplacement.
On your way to your eat, you observe the patrons occupying the counter seats. At one extremity a haughty figure with long white hair is explaining boxing moves to his neighbor, a minotaur using his tentacles to play distractedly with a dwarf figurine. Sitting after them is one slick looking elf in black cropped top, cradling a baby in one arm and explaining to her the virtues of both chicken and tuna on a pizza. Next in line is a short chubby man in suspenders, trying desperately to buy a hoverboard on his smartphone. On the seat next to you, the desiccated Egyptian-like skeleton is back and unsuccessfully trying to keep hold of two small golden trophies.
The owner plops down a glass of beer in front of you with a large smile splitting his face in half. "Hello friend! Please enjoy yourself tonight for our last day. All you can drink! All you can eat! Everything must go!" He's quickly snapped up by a passing waiter before being able to add anything.
The main room holds his usual lot of patrons, somewhat more joyful than usual, or inebriated. At a table the large reptile with swim fins shares a drink with a half naked red headed elf and a massive Orc in blue armor. Behind them, another lean half naked elf is playing with a pair of red dice.Sharing his table with a stubby fellow wearing a cooking pot as a helmet. A massive mummy and a tall goblin in studded leather seem to be exchanging joke and drinks. A werewolf works methodically on a kale salad, fiddling from time to time with a ticket at his paw.
The first level over, the flannel shirt wearer and another werewolf chat as they lean back on the rail. The entrance of foul looking goat has them sidling to the side to make room. A few steps away another bloated goat is pushing its way towards a private room, holding a massive tankard of craft beer. In the other room, a pair of skinks can be seen playing a strange game: one brandishes a knife, the other a wooden spoon in return.
On the top floor, an orc holding pushes his typewriter along the rail, making space for a small hooded rat to sit. The dwarf in leather jacket pats gently a heavily bandaged elf on the shoulder. Further away, an elf sporting a white mohawk teases a minotaur with a red cape, and dances around its charges.
In a private room a dwarf together with an elf sporting a large paw-like mitt set at their food with some woodenware. Next to the door, a patron with an impressive red beard and bear skin stares at a phallic golden object with misty eyes.
The owner returns and hands you a slate over. "Amazing times really. Dunno what I would have done without all this." His gesture seems to embrace the whole thing, walls and patron alike. "You know, I strongly believe that his place owes everything to the patrons and the chefs. Me? I'm just a mean to an end."
He sighs heavily, then smiles again. "I'll be around next season for sure so we're bound to bump into each other, probably just not here. I heard the former owner of the building is interested of buying it back, I'm sure they have some fascinating plan for it." He winks at you and dives again in the infernal clangor of the kitchen, leaving you alone with the menu once more...
Div1: Capital dishes to sate all your Big O hankerings.
School of Dance (1470 WElves) vs Shadowhill Cowboys (1920 DElves) - Recipe
This one was highly expected. Known as the Clasico from the Big O, it was a delight to see some of our most famous chefs going at it again. Come and try their adobo: chicken and pork stewed in soy sauce and vinegar with a handful of peppercorns.
4-3 Shadowhill Cowboys
Muten Roshi's Bear School (1540 Kislev) vs Old Hobart Honeybadgers (1850 HElves) - Recipe
Another classic, another staple dish. This sisig will become one of you favourite drinking chow. Take some Kislev style pig face, chop it with garlic, onions and peppers. Sauté everything Helf style and mix mayo or an egg in for a creamier texture.
Div2: The spice rack, to get your food some oomph in it.
The Scuffling Dead (1740 Necro) vs Sassy Soviets (1580 Kislev) - Recipe
Once again, division two is coming at you with some Kislev and Necro food. The two chefs went out of their way to prepare us this dinuguan stew: Kislev style pork cooked with innards in pig blood and vinegar, according to the Necro recipe.
3-2 Sassy Soviets
Leaping Lizardss (1550 Lizards) vs Sôdai Senlin (1330 Amazons) - Recipe
Looking for something lighter to take a break in this meat heavy menu of ours? Try this ginataang gulay: the unique result of an Amazon and Lizard encounter: squash with string beans al cooked in a coconut milk and chili Lizard sauce. Yum.
2-0 Sôdai Senlin
Div3: Side dishes bringing back classics with a twist.
Saturday Nyght Femurs (1500 Undead) vs Cyrus's Viruses (1550 Nurgle) - Recipe
When it comes to vinegary sauces Undead cooks can compete with their Necro cousins. So when our Nurgle cook brought some tuna ceviche with onions and chili, vinegar and citrus were quickly added to it for a neat kilawin you will not forget.
1-0 Saturday Nyght Femurs
Div4: The experimentation section, for the truly adventurous.
Chaos from Laos (1780 Chaos) vs Bar Room Blusterers (1720 WElves) - Recipe
If you want something more exotic try our kare-kare: this Welf vegetable stew based on thick and unctuous peanut butter. Paired this week with some traditional Chaos oxtail and fermented seafood paste for that extra zing you did not expect.
1-0 Bar Room Blusterers
Divs5: All sweets and breakfast food, best made with guests.
Teched For Battle (1500 Khemri) vs The Ball Pinchers (1430 WElves) - Recipe
Sometimes you want to go with something sweet, just to ease up nicely into the day, or take a relaxing break. Then you'll want to try our champorado the combination of Welf rice porridge covered in tableya the Khemri very slowly ground cacao seeds.
3-2 Ball Pinchers
Transdwarfist Future! (1450 Chorfs) vs Off Work Boyz (1670 Orcs) - Recipe
Ah, so you want something heartier for breakfast. Our Orc and Chorf chefs have you covered on that one. First get your Chorf spicy sausages, don't mind the size they pack a punch. Then pair them with Orc fired garlic rice and a sunny side up egg to kickstart the day.
2-1 Off Work Boys
Deepest thanks go to all the admin staff and tech wizards making possible for all of us to meet, play and write about Blood Bowl.
Here's a list of Big O streamers you should follow; for future time quality Blood Bowl:
- AussieViking: Coach of Winged Centaurs, co-host of Div 3 recaps with Fyrs, aims to become Big O-rabbi.
- Cynergy: Coach of The Nurgtown Crooners, host of Div 2 recaps with Nick, the man in the green screen.
- Fyrs: Coach of Saturday Nyght Femur, co-host of Div 3 recaps with AussieViking, endorses Cathay Pacific.
- GdayNick: Coach of The Ball Pinchers, co-caster of Div 2 recaps alongside Cynergy, dances around tomb guardians.
- Krusader: Coach of Muten Roshi's Bear School, host of Div 1 recaps with XS, is warming up for the play offs.
- PapaNasty: Coach of Bash Incorporated, host of Div 5B recaps, finally retiring Bash Incorporated?
- Rhys: Coach of That's Chaos Theory, host of Div 5 A recaps, went to kicks during the play-ins. Yes. Kicks.
- Seriassam: Coach of Leaping Lizardss, traumatized by Div 2, claimed Div 2 wooden spoon amidst fierce opposition.
- SkyblueMonty: Coach of Monty's Tosspots, will play Halflings everywhere, will play Halflings anytime.
- Swagtusk: Coach of Sassy Soviets, Krusader's franchisee, will be retiring Big O's alpha Kislev team.
- Tommo: coach of The Arcana, host of Div 4 recaps with Jamus, winner of the Brother Bowl season 10 edition.