After seeing my stock holdings dip below 2700 (a 10% loss after only 3 games!), I realised that I needed an edge on the market. Competing with excel built indexes and intra clan insider trading is tough, especially when having to evaluate high value coaches. So what about the coaches no one knows about?

College teams aren’t tradable yet, but in 1 or 2 seasons time the current college coaches will be stepping into rebbl with a baseline rating and no reputation. Recappers for college are currently few and far between, so doing this will hopefully lighten the load for those poor souls. More importantly, having your team written about and talked about is great fun, and makes the rough side of the dice more bearable. It’s a win win.

Without further ado, onto the rankings!


Rank 1

Klarond Kar Jailors (Berzeroth)  2-0-0

Many of the poorer dark elf teams struggle to get across the vast land of chill in order to meet their away fixtures. This leads to Klarond Kar sides outperforming their peers when it comes to playing across the Sea of Chaos. There’s no exception here, with the Jailors running out ahead in the early season.

The offense has only racked up 2 passes so far, but a strong ground game (150 yds rushing) is backed up by a solid and lethal defense. They’ve dished out 5 casualties so far, 2 going to the promising rookie Yvriorn, and only conceded one touchdown. 

Although like many new teams they’ve got an incomplete roster, the 1 witch bash playstyle is supported by star player Lanthel. The early agile guard is a nightmare for any opposition head coach, and gives Genraleyth the freedom to make daring surf plays.

One to watch, they could go all the way to the majors. Playoffs.


Rank 2

Cursed Cowboy’s (Dimmy Gee) 2-0-0

The other team with a flawless record are also travelling far this season. Coming out of the chaos wastes, Dimmy Gee’s boys have strung together some early results. Having secured a strong operating base in the form of a cursed crypt, the Cowboys look good. The necromantic teams will look forward to their games however. 

Taking advantage of playing 2 other slow starting races in the form of pro elves and nurgle, The Chosen of Chaos that Dimmy acquired have gotten straight down to business. Butch Cassidy has recieved a gift from Archeon himself in the form of unholy strength. This has come at the sacrifice of only a rookie gor!

The reason this team is ranked second is because rookie chaos are notoriously poor on the ball, and inconsistent blockers. Next week’s orcs will be a good test as to how serious a contender this team is, with Jessie James (Block Warrior) and Butch needing to turn up in a major way against the armor 9.

Like any mortal, I fear the chaos Gods. That said, I predict mid table.


Rank 3

Edgy Speedies (Jobeyobey) 1-0-1

The second dark elf team rounds out our top 3. As we get into the midfield teams become hard to seperate, but Jobeyobey tops the pile this week. The Speedies have come in quite literally under the radar, with not recording any statistics. Opposition players should be alert to any suspicious looking slavers at the away game.

This is an elf team that’s come away from the only natural tackle in the division with 3 points. Star blitzer Hathran (Blodge) will be eyeing up the rest of the season with glee, with opponents needing to find the perfect block against him. 

Jobeyobey needs to get in touch with his local Hag Queen however, with no witch elves yet on the roster. Perhaps the reported disappearance of multiple statisticians and scorers has something to do with this. While the cauldron boils, the Speedies lack a ballhawk and arguably one of the best positionals in the new world. If and when a witch elf joins the team, they could be unstoppable.

A tier 1 race with early blodge is always a threat. Top 5.


Rank 4

Grufbar Zhufbar (Troy_Tempest) 1-0-1

Grufbar look like a momentum team. After losing to the second best dark elves, they vented their frustration against lizards, blitzing twice in a 2-1 win. Both troll slayers have been anonymous so far, and that will have to change if the team is going to perform against such high strength opposition.

Burraz has been the standout player in the opening 2 weeks, and although nimble for a dwarf he’s decided to buckle down and master the art of blocking. With such a kind schedule (early nurgle and already busted pro elves) Lokor, Kruten and Uhlk will all be looking to make some plays and push the team to a respectable 3-0-1.

This division is the natural environment of rookie dawi. Not much agi, and all the bash has no block. No fast teams to exploit mass movement 5 mean that every game is a potential win. This is a bloodbowl team that could raise morale in Zhufbar, one of the most besieged dwarf holds in recent memory.

This is a great division for dwarves. Top 3.


Rank 5

Ork Varieties (lavalamps122) 1-0-1

When you see a tribe of savage orcs playing out of a Tilean cider farm, you know something is amiss. While I dread to think what these poor fools did to anger Gork (or Mork) in such a way, I look forward to seeing how they try and make it up to their patron Gods.

Led from the back by Red Delicious(block thrower), this team is a completely standard, average orc roster. It’s green, hard and mean. None of the black orcs have shot straight to level 2, but none of them have been crippled on the pitch either (yet).

This is a team not inclined to crumble or turnover. Only one other strength team has come out of the blocks fast in terms of levels, and a couple are a little worse for wear already. The coach will need to make the trek back into the badlands in order to pick up a troll, since there are some very big guys on the other teams already.

Middle of the orchard. 5th or 6th.


Rank 6

The Garlic Orcs of Athena (jorcajo) 1-1-0

Despite having a better record than the other orc team, these anti vampire specialists place below them in the power rankings. This is mostly because they have suffered 2 deaths and an injury in two games, and the lack of statistics being recorded which limits my analysis quite a bit.

The crippled black orc has to stay on, since the coffers were emptied in order to find a replacement blitzer. Unless the coach has some special plays up their sleeve, these guys are going to develop slower than average since any spp earned by Aioro-Oz will fall to the void.

Their record is good, and in these early days it would be foolish to write off any team, especially an unbeaten one. That might be about to change though, with an away trip to the division leading Jailors next week. Another lost player would be tragic, so Jorcajo will have to manage his team well off the pitch in order to avoid a kidnapping. Not many orcs ever come back from the new world…

Too early to tell. Bottom 7.


Rank 7

E-Reptile Dysfunctional (goofd) 1-0-1

A saurus dying in their opening fixture was not part of the plan. While the Reptiles went on to win that game, having to run a journeyman stunty player is more of a hindrance than you might expect. The hardest part of playing against lizards is finding hits on the skinks, and this just got a whole lot easier.

At the moment they look like an orc team with a strength up blitzer and 5 goblins rostered and this explains the low ranking. Season 1 lizardmen is tough even with a full roster, and if they don’t get some momentum against the pro elves this week then the saurus are going to struggle to level against all the av9. 

Goofd runs an aggressive defence which gave up 2 surfs last game against dwarves. This part of his playbook needs to be used less frequently now, since his players are being removed that much quicker already now with the loss of protection.

It could be a long, long season. Bottom Half.


Rank 8

Everlorn Eagles (Oldyella) 0-0-2

This is the fastest team in the league, and so far it’s very light on damage. Only one death, and no permanent injuries to my knowledge. Castien and Anthnibien could run this league if they can get the passes in from Risscon, since only 2 other teams have fast sackers so far.

The big statistic is the passing, or lack thereof. Only 2 complete passes so far this season, which is very low for such an spp hungry roster. With blanket agi 4 working with a dedicated thrower and catcher, this pro elf team should be making 6 passes a game! These guys need all the protective skills they can get after all, being the only av7 team.

Up against nurgle next week, this team could end up 0-0-3 which would probably end any playoff hopes. With very little mighty blow rolling around this team should survive into minors however, and next season could be the one. A professional crew of elves that will be a threat until turn 16 of every game, surely they can get some results?

Too fast for most. Have to be top 4.


Rank 9

Pink Penguinz (b3sh) 0-1-1

B3sh has opted for the one wolf starting roster in order to focus his spp. 2 games later, with only 13 spp gained on the team (10 on zombies) and 2 permed wights, Sparkly Twinkletoes sits on 0spp still. So what’s going on here?

This is a pillowfisted necro team that have inflicted 0 casualties against the orc teams. Assuming the claw is hitting often you’d expect at least something. Maybe a rock knocked him out for a match, or the dog himself couldn’t get the knockdowns. With both blitzers gimped and no money in the bank, things look bad for the Penguinz.

Necromantic Horrors are too good a race to fully write off early, but Twinkletoes really needs to step up and carry the team into contention. The Speedies are next week’s opponents, a serious test for the roster and the head coach.

A nightmare start for the necro. Bottom half.


Rank 10

Mouldy Shamblers (__Yor__) 0-0-2

Propping up the bottom of the rankings are the rookie nurgle team. Shock. While inflicting 4 casualties so far, a dead rotter mvp and a living rotter mvp mean that the jump start nurgle need to compete hasn’t arrived. Yor has gone full stink in an aim to appease Nurgle himself, as well as getting his positionals on the pitch early to start attracting spp via osmosis.

No touchdowns scored is the real problem. Offense in bloodbowl is difficult, and with rookie nurgle it’s even harder. Without at least one touchdown per game, the spp gain crawls to a halt. At the moment, every other team in the league is looking at these guys as 3 free points. The Shamblers need to try and stay competitive in games for as long as they can, forcing the other coach to make plays against the stink.

Dwarves next will be a struggle, but a draw there coupled with a murdering of pro elves next week could shoot this team up the rankings. There are some damaged, broke teams that Yor will be targeting for points, and once a warrior gets to block this team won’t look back.

There’s hope, but it’s still rookie nurgle. Bottom half.





At week 2, it's very hard to predict the midfield in a fresh division. But there are competitive teams at all points in the current table and I’m looking forward to coming back midseason to see how they go. No concedes or drops yet, so hopefully you’ll all still be around for the week 4 (or 5, we'll see how busy I get) rankings.


- Losre

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