Nocternal’s Picks of the Week S9 W3

Hey there REL,

Looks like we are in the full swing of Season 9 and the hits keep coming like a Bruce Lee One Million Fists of Fury remake starring Jackie Chan. Let’s skip the pillow talk and get right into the hot and heavy action. Don’t worry, I brought protection.


REL 1, Elfs and Rats and Death, Oh my!

Tribu Urbana (Pro Elfs Tv 1660) vs Ratz Off to Ya (Skaven Tv 1570)

This is an agi coaches delight, watching graceful Elfs and mostly not graceful Rats face off in a no holds barred Touchdown extravaganza. Tribu Urbana is looking nice so far this season even if they suffered 2 losses right out of the gate, but they have a strong roster going up against the Ratty Ratz. The only players that I would keep at least  one eye on is Catcher “Cadaver” Vebran (Mighty Blow, +Ma, Block, Tackle, Dodge) who is so close to legend he can taste it. If he survives this season he just might have it. The Ratz are still going strong even with a 0-1-1 record. Lead by the every classy Linerat Gary Friendly (Dirty Player, Sneaky Git, Kick, Wrestle) who is in no way an absolute unit (of absolute bloat). Other than one legend Gutter Runner, the Ratz are looking hard up for player who will help turn this game in their favor. And they will need it if they ever hope to pull out a solid win and some sweet, sweet Casualty SPP.

Winner: Too Close to Call


REL 2 wants to keep the cas rolling

Live Tree or Die Hard (Wood Elfs Tv 1360) vs You’re a Lizard, ‘Arry (Lizardmen Tv 1610)

It’s time for another Touchdown till you Die game with the Welfs taking on the Lizzies. Right off the bat, you can tell the the Woodies had a hard time against the Dwarfs of Three Mountains last week with a Wardancer and a Catcher out with a MNG. Not to mention the lost LineElf lost forever to the McMurty meat lockers. YaLH also took some damage last week against Drakwald Daylabourers. But that is a drop in the bucket when it comes to total TV lost. The Welf will be sitting pretty with a fist full of Inducement money, that is were they will get the win. They need the Wizards and Appo’s to work some real magic if they want to survive against these magical lizardfolk.

Winner: You’re a Lizard, ‘Arry


REL 3 is running for the hills, running for their lives.

Grungy Desserts (Nurgle Tv 1700) vs Rebellious Scions (Dark Elfs Tv 1690)

Another bash vs agi game coming down the pipes in REL 3. The Grungy Desserts will be having a tough time catching these Delfs since they lost their killer Pestigor, All Apple Pies, who just now has gotten Block (HA! Take that Full Metal!) leaving them with exactly one tackle on the entire team. Stouticus will be leaning hard on this backup killer Warrior Cannoli as you Are (Block, Mighty Blow, Claw) to pick up the slack to break some Elf backs. But don’t count the Scions out just yet. These rebels will have to play smart and patient if they want a chance to win this game. Look out for Witch Elf, Calfendrian (+Ag, Wrestle, Tackle, Niggle) who will be living on the edge to keep the Scions in the game.

Winner: Grungy Desserts   


REL 4 gets a grudgin’!

Culinary Delights v2 (Chaos Tv 1570) vs Thick Rich and Creamy (Necromantic Tv 1850)

Time for a three-peat with Culinary Delight facing Thick Rich and Creamy… again. Culinary Delights have been having a bully season so far, beating out some Chorfs but they paid for that win, with Ball-Beastman Calinzanincu taking the week off for some personal time with the rest of his unbroken arms. This leaves the ball in less secure hands against the wiles of werewolves Gene Parmesan and Moon Moon. In all intents and purposes, this game is tilted heavily in Thick Rich and Creamy undead hands. Unless the Necro claws fail to bring down the already diminished Chaos they have this one basically in the bad.

Winner: Thick Rich and Creamy


REL 5 is about to get broke.

Cogs of War IV (Dwarfs Tv 1800) vs Gamba’s Gals (Amazons Tv 1640)

Sweet, dear, holy Christ! This is the worst thing that these ladies could hope for! Put on the field against battle hardened Stunties (You know there is a Sexual Harassment lawsuit coming after the game). Let’s take a look at the dwarfs who will be doling out some beat downs. These military machines tied their last game against a Nurgle team and paid for that tie with an MNG on a Slayer that they could have really used in the slaughter. Gamba’s Gals will be fighting uphill the entire game unless they can get some good inducements out of the 160k they will be receiving. My best wishes to Gamba, give them hell!

Winner: Cogs of War IV    


I’m going to call it there, for now but expect more next week when I write our first Rookie Highlight supplemental for the top teams in 10a thru 10e. Remember, if you want to see your team featured in NPoW in the future, make all checks Payable to NPoW ℅ Nocternal and I’ll be sure to get you in there somehow, even if you don’t play in REL!

- Nocternal

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