Hey REL,


Time flies when you are having fun and we are nearly a full third of the way through Season 9. This shiz cray, as the cool kids say these days. Even in the opening weeks we have seen some amazing action all across REL as giant fell and newcomers rose to take their places. Enough waxing poetic, let’s get to the games I’m keeping an eye on.


REL 1, Glass Champions are getting smashed.

New Year Norse (Norse Tv 1500) vs Oil Miners (Dwarfs Tv 1610)

This is going to be the game to watch in REL 1 as the celebrated annuals of New Year Norse play against fracking Dwarfs of the Oil Miners. Let’s start off with the Season 8 Champions, New Year Norse is seeing the worse of the wear as they have been getting stomped in the regular season play. Ornan has been feeling the pressure, that is for sure. But don’t think that he isn’t fighting back with all the pounding he has taken, he is still in there, if only barely after the loss of 300. With all eyes on Berserker 1995 (Mighty Blow, Pile On, Tackle) who will need to find a way to put a dent in the tiny Miners. The oil slick Oil Miners will be getting the upper hand in this exchange even if they are just slightly ahead in the standings. These diggers of the Black Gold have also been seeing the worst of the damage coming into the game missing star Troll Slayer, Milan Luich-Troll (Mighty Blow, Pile On, +St, Tackle, +Ma, -Ag, -Av). It will be a game of hard hits, stomping boots, and beards.

Winner: Oil Miners

REL 2, Elfs being Elfs and doing Elf things.

Live Tree or Die Hard (Wood Elfs Tv 1660) vs Not an Anime Sports Team (High Elves Tv 1500)

I heard you liked Elfs, so we made Elfs play Elfs so you can watch Elfs while you Elf. This is bound to be a high scoring shoot out of a game with the Bruce Willis fan club taking on the kuwai killers. Lets start with my favorite Christmas story, Live Tree or Die Hard has been having a decent season as far as Woodies are concerned. With even development across at their positionals they are the more well-rounded team coming into this match. As always, you have to keep both eyes on Wardancer Bruce Willis IV (Tackle, Side Step, Mighty Blow, Pro, Jump Up) who will be making the big plays going into this game. Not an Anime Sports Team will be looking to shut down these terrorist troublers but may find themselves more of the Hans Zimmer in this story. Coming into the match with 3 players out does not instill confidence with a Blitzer and 2 Line Elfs taking off some personal time with their remaining limbs. If there was anything that could get me back on their side it’s the squad of Catchers that will be pestering the tree huggers the whole game. Catcher Maybe all Out!! (Dodge, Wrestle, +St, Tackle, Leap, -Ma) is the one to watch and will be harassing the Woodies all throughout the game, as long as Armor 8 holds up.

Winner: Too Close to Call

REL 3, Invest in Mortuary Stocks!

Khaman Konsulting (Khemri Tv 1910) vs Plzdont Murder Me (High Elf Tv 1920)

This game is one that can go either way depending all on a single dice roll. Khaman Konsulting will have the serious advantage on the begging High Elfs in this game. They are stronger, they bring the bench for big fouls, and they have free financial planning seminars between halfs. These Khemri have taking a page out of Gengars book and got 3 +St levels (only 1 short of Gangars 4). But they will need to land the hits if they want any chance of stopping the elfs, with only 2 Tackle players, one being Blitz-Ra Heperu Merdis (Mighty Blow, Tackle, Pile On), they will be fishing for pows all game. But with so much strength they might just find some. Plzdont Murder Me went the other way with development, they have a staggering 4+Ag and a single +St, these Elfs got moves enough to get away from the death advisors. Top coward award goes to Catcher Eitimonion Undoos (Nerves of Steel, +Ag, +Ag, Dodge, Sure Hands, -Ma) who wins the award for highest agility and most basic Elf name. This will be a game of 2+ and 3+ dodging for the elfs as they do their absolute best to stay out of arm's reach.

Winner: Plzdont Murder Me

REL 4, Bring out the Ladies!

(REBBL Rage Quit (Chaos Dwarfs Tv 1990) vs Fallen Warriors (Amazons Tv 1900)

This weeks high Tv game comes out of REL 4, and I would not have picked these teams to play each other. One is angry and short and the other is looking real nice. The Chorfs are coming in hot with some nice development, even if they are going for murder in spades. Even the Bull Centaurs are going for the pain route It seems like no one on this team is really all that interested in the ball half of the game. They just want to kill and they couldn’t have asked for a better team to play against. With the Chorfs stacked in Tackle, Mighty Blow, and Pile On there isn’t one single player that I would pick to highlight. They are all basically carbon copies of each other. This team is one dimensional. Fallen Warriors, on the other hand, at looking a bit better with the spread and selection of skills. The only thing that worries me is that they are going up against mass tackle Chorfs who will want to eat them for breakfast (and maybe lunch if there is some left over). This team will live (and die) by 3+ dodge rolls. If the dice are in their favor, they can really give the Chorfs what for, but if not they will be pushing up daisies. The player to watch from the Warriors is Catcher Alkidike Orthia (Block, +St, Frenzy) who will be threatening every Chorf player who wants to think about getting close to the sidelines.

Winner: Fallen Warriors

REL 5, Clash of Chaos

Rottingham Rockers (Nurgle Tv 1720) vs Khorne’s Glory (Chaos Tv 1720)

I hope everyone is wearing their corruption proof magical underpants because things are looking deadly in REL 5. This has to be the game that I am most excited about this week. With Papa Nurgle facing off against the Great Devourer himself, Im sure the fans will be ready for a slaughter or slaughter each other. The Rottingham Rockers are looking more rounded as a team with a decent spread of skills. Top marks go to Nurgle Warrior Phelgmy Kilmister (Block, Mighty Blow, Guard, Dodge) and Pestigor Jim Gorrison (Wrestle, Tackle, Strip Ball) who will need to be on their top game to help bring this game in favor of Papa Nurgle. Khorne’s Glory is very much a Khornite team. They want to fight and fight and when that gets boring, they can fight some more. And all the fighting seems to be taking a toll on the team. A smattering of permanent injuries is blanketing this team and a lack of dedicated ball carrier is really going to hurt them with a Strip Ball Pesty hanging around. While the Glory Hounds are stacking Claw and Mighty Blow, decent Regen rolls will hamper any attempt at a early and mid-game player count advantage.

Winner: Rottingham Rockers


Alright ladies and gents, keep your eyes open for the 10a-10e NPoW coming in the following days. I’ll keep writing these things as long as you all keep playing and killing and scoring. Anyways, I’ll have to get started on the next weeks prediction table if I want any chance of a head start.


- Nocternal

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