I was supposed to have until Wednesday to finish this. But you were so eager to start, some of you might have played your games already without knowing what I think of them! How dare you?!
Well, I hope this second half of my review arrives on time, at least, to make you smile and to see your next opponent )or yourself) from a different point of view. Let’s do this.
mmcnaughton4 / Here to Fu3K Up One30 / Superior Being Ring
Well, I’m sure there is a story behind this team name, as our next team is coached by One30, and also picked Superior Being Ring. Who will prevail between them?
He has a nice team to…”mess” with One30. Following the trend of the Chaos Pact teams, he mixed a murderous CPomb line, supported with lots of guards, with the mandatory one turner and the perfect high elf thrower. With kick of return, accurate, safe throw and strong arm, the ball is guaranteed to end in the hands of the catcher. He lacks sure feet, though, so we can expect a tripwire.
6 guard and 3 CPoMBs. And if someone survives, 2 dirty players will finish the wounded. The one turn attempt is better in this team than other we’ve seen, because even without sure feet in the catcher, getting him the ball with be as easy as it gets no matter where the ball lands, thanks to the thrower.
Against basher teams, they have the guard, but lack the strength. 2 dauntless chorfs might not be enough, and 4 of the guards are in wrestlers, not ideal. The core of the team is pretty slow.
RATING: Very balanced team, able to damage and stand his ground against all kind of opponents. 8.5/10
One30 / Here to abuse McNugget / Superior Being Ring
And here is the other half of the story. We can only assume that McNugget is mmcnaughton4, the coach above, and for them, this is personal, so it will be nice to watch this particular competition.
Same mixed team, One30 approach his roster (and team name) with more finesse. Instead of 2 agi4 players, he went for 3 agi4 and 2 agi5, featuring The Warden, a nasty blodge ST5 vampire. He doesn’t have as much killing power as mmcnaughton4, but One30's CPomber has ST4.
Strong points: Very high AGI, a nasty killer, and a ST5 vampire allow this team to be aggressive in defense.
Weak points: I miss the oneturner (they are gamechangers), and a Vampire with just 2 rerolls is asking for trouble.
RATING: I’m afraid One30 is likely to be Fu3Ked by mmcnaughton, but agi5 and hypnogaze can turn around any game with some dices. 7/10
Randomaxomus / Am I Doing Stunty Right? / Union of small people
No, you’re not.
I’m sorry, I know playing stunties means you are up for fun, and not necessarily aiming for the highest competition level. But you really had to go no reroll? No bench? With a secret weapon and two niggles in two of your more expensive players? It’s a pity, because those two +MA trees are amazing, and skipping just one big guy for 2 RRs and a couple of stunties would have made this team fun AND playable.
Strong points: Strength, obviously, and two +MA trees is quite a view.
Weak points: Only one player can handle the ball in the whole team, but without rerolls.
RATING: It will be a fun team to watch, that’s for sure, but don’t expect it to win. 2/10
tself55 / Elves who are Still Alive / Elf Coalition
In my last post, reviewing Ledeas, the first coach playing the Elf Coalition, I regretted the lack of bullshit, as he went for a solid team instead of full crazy stat-up elves.
tself55 apparently agrees with me because… man, is this team different. Here, we decided to go all in, with three stars that will run the show.
Michael Jackson is not a natural oneturner…but he only needs an easy push thanks to his sidestep, and the agi5 will make him useful all game. Rudolf Nureyev is a ST4 stripball wardancer, with fend and ss to protect him. And if he can’t strip the ball, I’m sure Elyvilon will. This St4 Agi5 strip ball wrodger will be the nightmare of any team reckless enough to have skipped sure hands. Tself55 himself raised this thing, so he will know what to do with him.The rest of the cast includes just a bit of the basic skills he will need (an MB, kick and a couple of tackles) to keep the show going.
Elyvilon, what an elf. Half or REL probably wants him dead, and now we will learn to love and hate him from all around the world.
Losing any of the key players could be devastating. Also, a team with sure hands and some guard to cage safely will make the sack very risky.
RATING: Sure Hands will be decisive against this team, and that forces me to deduce points to the final score, but I personally love it. I’m an elf coach deep inside, what can I say? 7.5/10
DrHeep / Greed Society / Anti Fur Society
Another coach representing the weird Anti Fur Society, a team that makes you wonder what made some scantily clad men and women join forces with a bunch of lizards and frogs.
DrHeep made a balanced team, with good players and nice skills all around. They will be a nightmare against agile teams, with several tacklers, including a pro tacklepomber, a ST4 blodge surehands carrier, leapers and a strip ball wrestler.
Unfortunately, low AV, low St, no bench and not enough guard will make them struggle against the classic 2-1 grind of bash teams.
Strong points: Being paired against an agility team. The ball will be safe in the hands of Pajte Petrus, and Drax Pavement Pounder will become Drax the Destroyer against av7 players.
Weak points: Being paired against a bash team. They can’t win the numbers game, and will have a hard time stealing the ball or stalling 8 turns in offense.
RATING: DrHeep did what he could, but Anti Fur society is not in the same league as other mixed rosters, and even with a balanced team, they will struggle to win unless he finds a favorable matchup. 6/10
Sherlock77 / Wind Colours / Elf Coalition
The last full elf team, is not completely full of elves, as Sherlock77 is the only coach including a tree to help a bit with the ugliest parts of the game. C.T. is his name, and with block, grab to help the one turn attempt, and +MA to stand up, is the best tree an elf can wish for.
The tower reversed will carry the team, with his leap, agi5, and +MA, but not much else catch my eyes in this elf team. Several guards might prove useful, but won’t be enough against stronger teams, and only one tackle can’t really stop their brothers. 5 Fan Factor feel like a waste, but I’m sure as you read this, some rock is injuring somebody’s one turner...still, I’m not a fan.
10 well developed elves with a nice old tree. Just enough to win against anyone. If that fan factor turns into +2 fame and makes a difference, the victory will be twice as sweet.
3 guards and 5 FF are 140K. You can buy 2 +AGI and 2 +MA with that. Feels like a missed opportunity.
RATING: I like the tree, but the team, even if it’s solid, feels a bit dull. No specialist or defined roles to excel at a particular play style. Will it be enough? 6.5/10
Cr3pusculum / Monstrous Regiment / Afterlife United
And now it’s the turn for a necromantic team.
Yeah, necromantic, because Cr3pusculum basically copied the roster of a (very good) necro team. You have 2 thralls instead of the superior skeletons/zombies, the tomb guardian it’s just a +ST flesh golem. 2 ghouls, 2 wights, and instead of 2 werewolves, he went with just one and a Blit-ra, that will play basically the same blitzing role.
If I ignore this idea, and just look at the team, the roster is fantastic, and 1800 TV Necromantic is one of the best teams you can field in a normal blood bowl match.
Strong points: Speedo McPessimism is a 290K player. Yeah. That happens when you get 2 stat ups in a legend werewolf. And he is worth every penny. Lots of tackle MB around. Low AV teams will have a hard time…
Weak points: …unless they have a nice strip baller, as Monstruos Regiment forgot the sure hand carrier. And with half of the league with leaping +agi or +st strip ballers, that’s huge. 4 players above ST4, but only 3 guards puts them below average in the bashing rating, and they don’t have the agility either.
RATING: A nice roster with a great star, they would be a hell of a necro team, but they aren’t strong or agile enough to raise to the top. Extra credit for the team name. 7+1/10
Kallisti Maya / Not Those Guys / Chaos Player Pact
Now we’re talking! Another Chaos Player Pact done almost like Nuffle intended to.
By now you probably know why I say “almost”. Because when you can field any gutter runner of all the REBBL teams, you must hate winning if you don’t bring a natural one turner. Kallisti might not need it, though. His Agi5 2 heads MA10 wrestle strip baller is only one push away, and he can steal the ball anywhere anytime. And his partner, an agi 5 2 heads leap sure hands gutter can finish the job recovering.
That’s nice, but it wouldn’t be OP unless you can dish some damage. And we can, with 3 ClawMB tacklers, two of them CPOmbers.
Strong Points: The plan is killing and scoring. If Kallisti get removals, game’s over.
Weak points: He can kill, but can he get the pows? Only 3 guards and not a single player above ST3, he will suffer against bash teams if the first removals end in the wrong bench. Lack of apo doesn’t help.
RATING: The perfect Chaos pact formula: Great gutters combined with raw killing power, but we’ve seen it done even better. 7.5/10
Mayorbyte / Drakkars Old Bay Size Law / Human league
Our last minute contestant, is the first and only to choose the Human League.
It’s a tricky one, because we have 5 teams to choose from, so planning is key for a great team, and Majorbyte didn’t have much time.
Don’t sweat, as we bring Snowballa, one player that doesn’t need any introduction. Just with that he ensures half the victory. Picking a human catcher natural oneturner and a top tier thrower doesn’t hurt either. Planning and cash didn’t reach the last team, Kislev, so we won’t see important leaps here.
Strong points: The thrower and oneturner combo is solid. Snowballa brings the charisma and killing power, if he behaves.
Weak points: This mixed team comes with his own weak points, impossible to avoid. Below average ST and armor that no amount of guard can’t truly compensate.
RATING: The human and norse members will carry this team. They are nice, but when your bigger star is a loner, you know what will happen. 7/10
Iron Master / Blue, Green and Very Mean / Violence together
Our last coach selected one of the two remaining mixed teams, Violence together.
Orcs, Lizards, Ogres and Goblins will join forces, don’t ask me why. But despite the name, Iron Master went for a control game, instead of a violent one, with a huge number of ST4 players and lots of guards, with only 3 MB and no PO. It’s a great idea, as it’s hard to be violent lacking claw access in the first place.
A deep bench to foul will help with the removals, while the blockers slowly grind his way up the field.
Strong points: 8 players with ST4 and block, a ST5 no loner, and 5 guards. Good luck making a dent to that army.
Weak points: Only one true reliable carrier in the roster, and it’s a stunty without SH. Iron Master will have to protect him at all cost.
RATING: We close this round with the less exciting team. We replace excitement with block, guard, and ST4. Not fancy, but we know it works. 7/10
All done. Now, like Robert California said:
"I'll tell you some things I find unproductive. Constantly worrying about where you stand based on inscrutable social clues and then inevitably reframing it all in a reassuring way so that you can get to sleep at night.
No I do not believe in that at all. Life is long, opinions change.
Winners, prove me right. Losers, prove me wrong."