MO: - Hello everybody, this is Michael Orwell from The Pit Stadium home of Primal Concrete Sledge, in what used to be the beautiful port town of River Plate. Yet again we are here, this is Swiss A, the second Swiss phase this team had to dealt this season. This time around, the opponent was a Advanced Dunces & Dragons, another elf team.
MO: - The first half happened as expected, with a Chaos team slowly grinding the field, the elves prancing around like kinky hawks, waiting for an opportunity. The bodies started to pile, mostly in the elves side, but at not point seemed that a Touchdown was going to happen, with only seconds on the clock, Hairspray Queen made an impossible pass, surrounded by elves, and with that Beeswax open the score.
MO: - The second half started as the first, Kinky elves prancing around the overwhelmed Chaos team, easily they tied the match, and with confidence they just gave the ball back to the Chaos team, fully aware of the weakness of this team and how exploit them. The elves were ready to jump at the first chance and well, the Chaos team gave them that chance. The elves took it, stole the ball and with a couple of feints and dodges easily scored. And with that the game was over, swiss over and season over for both teams.
MO: - We are going to try and catch Debtmonkey before he climbs and escapes the stadium...
MO: - Coach Debtmonkey please, coach... Ok, We are here with Coach DebtMonkey, tell us coach, did the match went as planned?
Debtmonkey: - Now, what a bunch of stuck up elves think about being coached by an orangutan....
Debtmonkey: - Hell no! The plan was to cash in several high value insurance policies Err - I mean, yes. The plan to use my animal cunning and exploit my players' sole redeeming value (high agility) came off like a charm.
MO: - We saw a really intense first half, with a lot of players being removed, and until the end, it seemed that your players had everything under control, what went wrong?
Debtmonkey: - Despite the KO's and minor injuries, we had the goats on the ropes until the carrier decided to pull of some glorious BS of his own. Making a short pass despite being marked by no less than 2 (standing) elves.
The Dunces are currently filing a complaint with the commission to have said goat tested for illegal substances and possibly demonic possession.
MO: - The second half continue with your team dominating the field and dictating all chaos actions, this with a severe lack of players, what did you tell them in order to keep them in the game, when the sideline started to pile bodies?
Debtmonkey: - The learning curve this season is littered with line elf corpses. At last tally 7 elves have flat out died (and 2 more have mysteriously disappeared after suffering permanent injuries).
Coaching dark elves has been a very different experience from coaching chorfs the last 3 seasons. More fun, honestly - the increased mobility and being able to make BS plays, like that sack and pass in our 2nd half, is just something you don't get to see very often when coaching the angry little beards.
Or at least you don't see it too often to your benefit!
MO: - And finally Coach, what are your plans for the next season, are you staying with the team, are we going to see a busy transfer market, are the Owners happy with your work?
Debtmonkey: - The Dunces will be taking the summer season off as the coach will be taking a family trip for a couple weeks. In the mean time, all elves are on mandatory Passing Drills for the next 4 months. So expect them back leaner and meaner in the summer's post-season Open Devastational.
MO: - There you have it Gypsy, and ecstatic ape, happy in his new habitat, we only wish him the best of lucks for the next season. And now to the press conference...
MO: - Coach Incesticide, yet again your team fail to stop an elven offense, we were told that all your focus was put on training against it, how can the fans expect your team to not fail again against any fast and mobile team?
Incesticide: - Well Michael, you see, we were training the last couple of weeks just that, and luck gave us another 2 "training" matches against them, and even better, in a competitive environment, with public and ReBBL rules. We are happy about the progress, the team is happy about their progress, and it will show next season.
MO: - This time around both stars of your team showed, Hairspray Queen with that clutch pass, and Endless Nameless removing pieces left and right, can we say that the difference between them are solved?
Incesticide: - Well Michael, the team need them both, one leads the offense and one leads the massacre, aham sorry, the defense. This is a defensive team in nature, so one has predominance over the other, and egos are big in this sport, but I think I manage to herd this team in the right direction.
MO: - You sound confident about your team, even tho the results this season were mediocre at best, many analyst might actually call them BAD, is the management supporting your position, are the players willing to stick with you for another season?
Incesticide: - There is going to be a press conference later this week to tell the fans about the future of this franchise, for now all I have to say is, Yes to both.
MO: - Coach Incesticide... coach, well Gypsy, he left, he seemed happier than expected considering this was another lost, but only time will tell.
MO: - And this is all from The Pit, another elf team face Primal Concrete Sledge, another elf team goes home with the victory. Balancing this season I will have to say, I'm happy with the job, I hope the network consider renew my contract.
this is Michael Orwell saying goodnight.