Season twelve taktics


Read the coaches whiteboard, as Coach Kool began to furiously scribble down notes while his team watched on. They sat in a dingy, darkened room, the smell of warpstone permeating the cold evening. Players bustled about, be it assaulting a team mate, using the latest Lynxx ™ skaven deodorant, or stuffing a yellowy abrasive into their shorts. The murmur would only be stopped for cries of devilish glee swiftly followed by not so empty threats. 

 “I want you all to listen up”

he barked at them, causing the goblins to briefly stop squirming around as they tried to escape Troll Pavlova’s grip. 

“If we’re gonna thump some opposition players this season, we need to work as a team.”

Howls of laughter erupted around the change room, goblins and skaven together rolling around like pigs with a sense of joyous hilarity. Pavlova briefly let out a bemused chuckle at the sight of his raucous teammates, before he went back to idly munching on who knows who. 

“Yeah right boys as if we are in it for the team game. I know you all are just addicts wanting your hit!”

Cheers of agreement shook the room. Everyone for themselves had always been the Underworld way.  Hogging the ball was a popular pasttime for all players

“But if we do want to win boys there’s a few of ya who the rest of you have to go easy on. You know, don’t spike their drinks and make them OD on game days, don't eat them, etc cetera.”

The players didnt quite know what to make of this. Why would the coach stop them fighting? Usually, he encouraged it, as he said it helped “trim the bloat”

“Some of you look a little confused, so I’ll go over your key teammates and why we gotta go easy on em."

Key players


Player Type

Skaven Blitzer


Block, Mighty Blow, Claw, Piling on.

SPP 48 

11 CAS last season

Coach says

“We need INXS at his best capacity so he can knock some of that enemy armour out, keep numbers even on the pitch. Having the killstack makes him deadly- hopefully he can teach you, Hilltops, how to properly incapacitate the opposition. Needs to be protected, you, Tasmanians, screen for him long enough and you’ll get paid well and be well on your way to retirement*.”


Drop Bears

Player Type

Skaven Thrower


Sure Hands, Pass, + AG, wrestle, two heads. 

SPP 49

12 Passes, 4 TD’s last season

Coach says

“Drop bears needs to make sure his arm is in top shape to lob some balls deep this season. The all rounder of the team, and a real team player if there ever was one, although sometimes needs to be reminded that passes generate him SPP and not his teammates- sharing the ball around so much can make him anxious. His ability to not only recover the ball but sack it are second to none.”


Expendable Tasmanian 8

Player Type



Dodge, Stunty, Right stuff, + MA, Two Heads

SPP 20

3 TDs 

Coach says

“8 Looks to become a player who would become a one turn specialist. It’s not that we don't trust Pavlova’s arm, but he ate at least 3 goblins over the off season during training. 8 is looking at working on his running speed, so he can make the end zone with a couple pushes from his teammates. A reliable one turner can change everything for the team, a player whose development will be closely watched.”

- liamcoulston

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